The House on the Other Side
by anonabella
Summary: How can something so wonderful be so wrong? How can something so wrong feel so right? This story centers the love between a 27-year old man and a 15-year old boy, and the things that pulls them apart.
1. Lightyears

How can something so wonderful be so wrong? How can something so wrong feel so right? Human AU.

This story centers about the love between a 27-year old man and a 15-year old boy, and the things that pulls them apart. Divided in three parts.

I own nothing.

* * *

**Chapter One - Lightyears**

(Lovino's POV)

"Just stop with the whining Alfred, you look like an overgrown baby," Matthew said quietly to his eternally huffing brother. The three of them together with Romano are walking to the station together.

"It's not that easy, Mattie, Iggy's really harsh this morning," he complained. Matthew realized that the American was indeed depressed or else he wouldn't have noticed his presence. "I mean, there should have been a less hard way to tell me to stop eating in classes."

"Uhm, no... there's none really..."

"I hate you..."

The Canadian sighed and turned to the Italian, mouthing, 'Help me with this.'

Lovino scratched his head thoughtfully. Then he said, "Just let him cool down a bit."

But then, Alfred snapped, "Must be nice to have a mature boyfriend,"his bitterness apparent. Lovino frowned at him, but he didn't speak.

_They just don't understand._

Suddenly, it started to rain.

"Aww, crap!"

The three of them made a run for it. Luckily, they found an almost run-down shed before the downpour worsened. But it was certain that they were trapped in there until the rain stops. Unless they have an umbrella...

"Actually, I've brought two umbrellas," Matthew mumbled. "Since Alfred never brings one so..."

"YOU'RE THE BEST, MATTIE!" the American literally thrown himself over the Canadian. When the more quiet blond freed himself from his brother, he glanced awkwardly to Lovino who is currently reading a text message.

"Uhm... Lovino?"

"Oh, don't mind me," the Italian said dismissively. "You go ahead."

From the faint blush on his face, Matthew realized that Lovino would just be fine. So the blond brothers just waved goodbye.

* * *

From: Antonio

Sub: It rained so suddenly!

Message: You have an umbrella, right?

Wait for boss in the usual

place, okay?

* * *

From: Lovino

Sub: Re: It rained so suddenly!

Message: Yeah. Okay.

* * *

The bastard probably forgot to bring his umbrella again, Lovino thought. Probably thought it was a hassle.

It all started a year ago.

Lovino met his boyfriend, Antonio, as a teacher in his former middle school. When the Spanish language professor retired, a burly looking young man took his place. Lovino never expected the Spanish professor to suddenly resign and had already signed up for the said language course, thus trapping him with Antonio. It wasn't like the Italian really liked to learn Spanish. Their grandfather just wanted his grandsons to have something productive to do that summer and Feliciano decided to take German. Despite his desire not to be separated from his brother, Lovino would never let anything German touch his tongue. So he searched for other courses.

Well, French doesn't sound too bad (besides, Matthew's there) if only the teacher wasn't that hairy and perverted. Russian and Greek were out of the question, really, as well as the Asian languages with thousands of alphabets. Which left Spanish on the list. It also helps that the professor looks as if he wouldn't notice you sleeping through his class and that Spanish is close to Italian. So it was a good choice, he supposed. But then, the professor just had to leave. Many other students believed that the Spanish department would temporarily be suspended and they transferred to other departments. Only Lovino didn't budge until the last minute, making him the only Spanish student, and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo's first and only student for that semester.

At first, Lovino thought that the class would be just a joke and a waste of time and facility. However, Señor Carriedo was too enthusiastic in the summer heat.

"Right, so Lovi, repeat after me," Antonio talked to Lovino like a first-grader. "Da-me un be-so."

"What's that mean, bastard?" It's already getting on Lovino's nerves how the man coos at him like he's a three year old or something.

"Hmm, in Italian it would be," he paused thoughtfully. "That will be, 'Dammi un bacio.'"

How lovely. He just landed himself on another pervert.

_Everything was just so plain and boring._

The days just come and go without any difference in routine. In the morning, he will wake up, eat breakfast and go to school. In school, he will meet some friends who always talk about things that Lovino couldn't be bothered to understand. After an early lunch, he would drag himself to the Spanish department classroom and spend two hours of nonsense with the ever cheery Spaniard. And then at dismissal, he would walk his way home (sometimes with his brother or Matthew), the same path that he walks for the past ten years of his life.

_Maybe, for some people, this kind life would be that of the contented. But for me, the repeatitive cycle of life makes me doubt if I am still alive._

Lovino hated summer and its always unbearable heat. Even parasols are useless when you are walking home while the sun is still in its glory. But since school is already done, he has nothing left to do but to go home.

It was a straight road from school to their house and over the years, Lovino has memorized the look of the place even every change of season. The green spring, yellow summer, orange autumn and white winter. He has never wandered off the path. Before, he was afraid that he might get lost. Now, he just can't be bothered. However, the immensity of boredome that has fallen upon him made him take that right turn.

It was just a moment's impulse. He feels so sticky and thirsty, and he was hoping that the path on the other side would have some tree shades. He got more than what he wished for.

The road has taken Lovino to a strange and different world.

Flowers of colors aside from yellow blooms beautifully overhead, while greenery vines crawled over the archway, giving the sun just enough spots to lighten the way. For a moment, the Italian was breathless over the beauty in front of him. As he walks further, it got harder to refrain himself from dancing about the pretty garden.

Then he bumped into someone.

"Lovino?"

There, at the end of the archway was Antonio, looking tired but refreshed as he handpicks tomato from the huge backyard garden that was alongside the archway. Antonio notice how Lovino eyed the juicy red fruits hungrily.

"Do you want some iced tomato juice? Come with me inside then," he invited the young lad to his huge mansion.

"Woah, you're this filthy rich?" Lovino asked in no one in particular as the Spaniard already excused himself to the kitchen. His house looks so modern and tidy and comfortable. "It must be tiring to clean something this big."

"Well, it sure does, but I love things neat," Antonio remarked casually as he sets down the juice on the table. Lovino happily gulped from his glass.

"This is good," he said before he stopped himself.

"I'm glad you liked it," Antonio smiled at him. The little Italian blushed.

From then on, Lovino would always stop by Antonio's house after class. They would always talk freely. Sometimes, Lovino would even help with the tomatoes. Throughout their bondings, Lovino found out that Antonio was actually a doctor in the morning (which explains why he is so rich), with a shift of 5am to 1pm, and goes to teach part time in their middle school after a referral from Mr. Bonnefoy, the French language professor. Apparaently, they are bestfriends. It made Lovino guilty a bit since he was the only student so it was a great hassle for the Spaniard. And to think that it was the elder man who was ever enthusiastic about the lessons...

"But it's alright, Lovi. I enjoy teaching you~"

_Bastard, it doesn't make me feel happy one bit._

After knowing Antonio's straight shift, Lovino decided that perhaps, they should have siesta.

"That's a great idea," Antonio said and he fixed some blankets under the shade of his field maple tree. And there they took a nap.

_Somehow, this feels nice._

Antonio's house is just a few blocks away from Lovino's house. So he can come over anytime. Sometimes, even during weekends, Lovino would show up in Antonio's doorstep.

Lovino wonders why he was very drawn to that place. Was it the flowers? Was it the tomatoes? He wasn't sure. All he cares about is how his plain and boring afternoons become something to look forward to. It seems that there is always something new to discover, something different to do. Antonio's house is full of many things that intrigues Lovino. His guitar, his turtle bowl, his tomato field. Everything is so bright and full of colors.

"You seem so happy nowadays, fratello," Feliciano commented one morning.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You just seem, less bored than before..."

That's true. Lovino was less bored than before. And it's all thanks to the beautiful house on the other side of the road.

_Funny. Whenever I think about the house, Antonio is always in the __picture in my head._

He brushed those thoughts away and went to class. Despite his new- found closeness to his teacher, Lovino is still as hard-headed as ever in learning Spanish. Sure, the language was easy to learn but he finds it amusing to act uninterested. The Spaniard doesn't mind though (or doesn't show that he actually minds), because he was also lax during the lessons. It seems, both of them quietly awaits for the dismissal so they can walk to the house together.

One particular afternoon though, it rained. They were caught unprepared so they run to the near run-down shed.

"Damn this rain," Lovino cursed. He took an umbrella from his bag.

"Wow, you're so prepared, Lovi," Antonio cooed.

"Wha- What about you, bastard? Don't you have any protection or something?"

"It's a hassle to bring one so no."

"Idiot, so what are you gonna do when these things happen?"

"Well, I usually wait for it to stop..."

Lovino glanced at the dark gray sky. "This doesn't look like it's gonna stop soon."

"Yeah," the Spaniard agreed. "Hey, hey Lovi, do you know why it's raining?"

"Watercycle and all those crap thingie?"

"That's true. But it also means one thing," Antonio said solemnly.

"What?"

"Summer's ending soon," he answered casually.

Somehow, that sentence had a larger impact to the Italian. It makes him think of the flowers, the tree and a certain tomato garden. He felt his heart sink a little.

He opened his umbrella, Antonio watching him.

"What are you waiting for, bastard, let's get going!" Lovino snarled not-so-angrily, gesturing the Spaniard to get moving.

"Awww, Lovi, you're so kind, sharing your umbrella with boss..."

"Who are you calling boss? I'm just doing this because y-you m-might be uhhh l-lonely to go home alone, dammit!"

Antonio snatched the umbrella from him.

"H-Hey...!"

"Let me hold this, it's the least I can do to repay your kindness," Antonio grinned at him.

"Stop talking like it's a big deal," Lovino murmured. He noticed how Antonio lets half of his body get wet so as Lovino would stay dry.

_Aren't you the kind one?_

Lately, Lovino was seeing the world in bright colors. Then, there was that thumping in his heart and the breathlessness. If he had been a bit more naive, he wouldn't have know what these feelings meant. But he does know. And he kinda likes what he knows.

When they reached Antonio's home, they realized that they can't take a siesta outside as usual. Antonio served hot chocolate and they silently watched the rain outside. It must have been the gentle taps on the roof, or the milk in their drink that made Lovino fall asleep quite quickly on the couch. When Antonio saw him curled up, the Spaniard cooed how cute he was and settled himself to sleep beside the Italian.

Lovino woke up later than usual. Usually, he would go home right after the nap (it would be like, six o'clock) but judging the darkness outside, it must have been later than seven already. Sure enough, when he glanced at his watch it shows 10:35. Great.

"Antonio, thanks for the nap, I'm going home!" he called.

"But, Lovi, it's past the curfew already. And you still haven't eaten dinner," Antonio answered from the kitchen.

"Nonno'd be looking for me. He'll be mad," Lovino explained as he searches for Antonio.

"That's alright, I already called your grandfather and told him that you'll be spending the night here." When Lovino reached the kitchen, he saw the Spaniard has prepared some spaghetti. He gave the Italian a big serving.

Lovino helped himself to the pasta, fearing the worst. But it never came."Wow, this is good, you're really perfect, aren't you?" Lovino muttered as he munches the meal.

"You flatter me, or is that your sleepiness talking?"

"It is my sleepiness. But be grateful."

"Si," the Spaniard chuckled.

"Hey, Lovi, want to go stargazing with me? I doubt you could fall asleep now after that long nap, and the sky is cleared off the clouds after the rain."

"Okay..."

In no time, Lovino found himself listening to the Spaniard's explanation of stars and constellations.

"That, Lovi is the Canis Major or the Greater dog. It is considered as one of the dogs that follows Orion in his hunt. Remember Orion? See those three stars aligned? That's his belt, and you can trace him from those three stars. Now you can always find the Canis Major easily since the brightest star in the earth night sky, the Sirius, is part of it. That's why Sirius is also known as the 'dog star'."

"Woah, that star, I can almost reach it!"

Antonio chuckled.

"What!"

"Nothing, you remind me of myself when I was young. I also think of it that way. But stars, no matter how near they seem, they are still of great distances away from us. They're just impossible to reach," his voice housed a sadness that Lovino does not want to hear. The Italian gulped.

"That's stupid, Antonio! Of course we could reach the stars! All we have to do is extend our hands further, because they're just always there... waiting for that someone to reach them," the Italian ended his speech in a whisper. But then he added loudly, "That's the problem of grown ups, they become despairing and hopeless," Lovino snided. He glanced at the Spaniard for his reaction.

"Ahh, Lovi's such a smart child..." Antonio proclaimed dramatically and wrapped Lovino in a strangling hug.

"Hey, gerofff!" Lovino tried to push him away.

"But isn't it more comfortable this way?"

The Italian stopped struggling.

"The sky reminds me of Spain, the night sky there is darker, so we can see more stars at night," Antonio said nostalgically.

"Even more than those?" Lovino asked incredously. Why, he can't even count the stars here!

"Yes, even more than those..." Antonio murmured. "I know! Once you passed the Spanish exam, I'll take you to Spain with me!"

"Really? I can?"

"Yeah! So learn Spanish quicker, okay? There's a festival there on the first week of July, I'm sure you won't want to miss it!"

"Okay! You have to keep your words, bastard!"

They stayed in the position for a while, sitting by the huge glass window, wrapped in a thick blanket, Lovino between Antonio's arms.

It was altogether warm and soft.

"Hey Antonio," Lovino mumbled sleepily after some time.

"Hmm?" Antonio hummed as sleepily.

"I think I'm in love with you, is that okay?" and Lovino fell into deep slumber.

Antonio's drowse seemed to have left him all of a sudden.


	2. Raindrops

Thanks for the kind reviews, alerts and favorites, you make me blush (/▼/)... it would also be as nice to hear constructive criticism because I know that my skills are still very lacking. BTW, I can't seem to find a way to insert Grampa Rome in the story so I'm sorry if I disappoint you **Lovi's Tomato Lover **but I will still try on the last chapter!

**Warning:**Antonio's Angst (yes, I dare make him angsty again, please forgive me)

* * *

**Chapter Two - Raindrops**

(Antonio's POV)

"Yo Toni! You look like a zombie!" Gilbert's loud voice and not-so-soft pat in the back brought Antonio back to his senses.

"Yeah, good morning, amigo," he responded.

"It's definitely not a good morning for you," the albino said. "You don't seem to have slept any."

"Actually, I haven't."

"Oh."

"..."

"You finally got the Italian to sleep with you?"

Antonio glared at his friend.

"Not the way that you're thinking, no. And I don't feel that way for Lovi."

"I thought so. But you do look so deprived," Gilbert muttered dismissively and set off. "Maybe you should call Francis. I'll cover your shift."

Antonio was at the hospital. But he fixed his things and set off to school an hour early. Since Gilbert's being generous enough to cover for him, might as well follow his suggestions.

While he's walking to school, he saw a very familiar boy walking with his friends.

And he saw an expression he haven't seen Lovino wear when he's with him.

That defeated look.

_Somehow, it makes me wonder who Lovino was when he's not with me._

Tap. Tap.

"Yo, Franny," Antonio greeted. The Frenchman noticed where Antonio was staring.

"He's such in a delicate age, huh," Francis commented. "Just one wrong step and the future could change for him."

Antonio glanced thoughtfully at his friend.

"He told me that he loves me."

"Oh, did he?"

"What will I do, Francis?"

"What do you want to do?"

The Spaniard was dumbfounded.

"Do you know what they call elder people who are into children? They call them a pedophile, mon cher. Or a pedo. But the point is, they classify those persons as a whole new category. Someone different from the rest. That's how our society works. They tell you what you should do and then judge you," Francis explained. "And the worst part? They don't care on what you'll feel as long as they get what they want."

"So you're telling me to reject him?"

"No. What you want to do with his feelings depends on you. I'm merely telling the consequences that you will face once you accepted his feelings."

"But what made you think that, you know, perhaps I'll accept?"

"Mon ami, knowing you, you wouldn't come to me if you're too sure that you will reject the boy. You could've turned him down quickly. Smiling, even. But I am glad that you are thinking about it."

"I just don't want him to get hurt..."

"Exactly my point. But it's either you hurt him or the world will."

"So... how can I properly turn him down?"

The French sighed.

"Just tell him directly. That would be the easiest and fastest way."

_Easier said than done. Lovino isn't making things easy for me._

_Perhaps it was my imagination, but Lovino is being more playful than __usual._

"Hey, Antonio, what's up?"

There. His eyes are twinkling. Just like the stars at night. I wonder if I can bear to be the one to erase that.

"Lovino, what do you like about me?"

"Wha-? What are you talking about!" he stammered. "Oh, fuck! Did I sleep talk last night!" Lovino blushed tomato red and cowered in he corner like a cat caught in action. How cute, Antonio thought.

"Well?"

"What?"

"So, what do you like about me?"

Sensing that the Spaniard is far from giving up on the question, Lovino gulped and began his speech.

"Well... when I'm with you, everything seems brighter and more colorful..." he said in a very small voice.

"Wow, that's poetic."

"Shut up! It's true! At first I thought summer was only yellow but with you, I see the read tomatoes, the blue skies, the green leaves and the colors of the flowers!"

"Really, that's - er - nice to hear."

"...so..."

"Hmmm?"

"So, w-what's your answer?" Of course Lovino would be so cute to ask that, Antonio thought. He wanted to tell Lovino to brace himself for his response.

_But what can I do? Aside from what Francis said a while ago, it's not like I can openly take the responsibility of accepting the fragile feelings of a mere 15 year old. It's too much for me to handle._

_'You're just escaping, Antonio. The truth is, you're the one who doesn't want to get hurt.'_

_Ah. That voice in my head. I thought I got rid of it already._

"I'm sorry, Lovino. But I'm not someone you could escape reality with."

Lovino visibly flinched.

"You were just bored with your life, tired of seeing the same colors all the time. You probably think of me as a fantasy, someone who will rid you of your monotonous living. You are young. You still don't know about love, the real thing. You just confuse your feelings for me as love."

"You're wrong!"

"Listen to me, Lovino. The truth is, I'm not the best person out there, in the world outside your own. I also don't think that I can love a kid who doesn't want to sleep with me. I can't be the one to take you away from your world.

"I also have problems of my own that I can barely deal with. I can't bring myself to willingly shoulder someone else's problems. Much more of a child.

"I am not the prince you think I am."

_Is he gonna cry?_

"I won't deny that some of the things you said was right," Lovino began. "But please, don't tell me what I'm suppose to feel. Don't make me do what you want, because...

**"My heart is mine, mine alone."**

Lovino kept a straight face as he told Antonio those words. But the tears on his eyes betrayed him. He run away before they started to fall.

_'You're the one escaping, Antonio.'_

After that, Lovino stopped showing up, even in school. Luckily, his brother asked Antonio if Lovino could answer the final exam at home. Feliciano had been very polite and bubbly, Antonio noticed. A complete opposite of his brother (or were they twins?). But somehow, Feliciano's smile lack the depth of emotions that Lovino always shows.

When he checked the paper, Lovino got full marks.

_I wonder if I need to wear glasses. Sometimes, I feel like the world has suddenly become blurred. And I'm seeing more gray than usual._

Is this how Lovino had seen the world? Is this why he was wearing such a defeated face when he is not around Antonio?

_Why do I get the feeling that I had also worn that expression before?__  
_

Somehow, the image of a boy that was bored in life never left Antonio's head. A boy that looks strangely like him. He realized that the boy was him all along.

* * *

Truth be told, I'm more afraid to hurt Lovino's feelings by the way I would treat him. I'm sure that somewhere between the lines, Francis wants to encourage my feelings for Lovino. Something like, 'the world might be against you, but at least you're together.' Yeah that sort of thing. I've watched enough chick flicks to learn that.

But I'm not good with emotions. I never had a lasting relationship before. Back in high school, I was told:

_"I don't know but you sure say the harshest things."_

I used to be the person who says just what comes into mind. I felt free whenever I get to say what I want. It's not like I'm purposely trying to hurt those who are around me. I'm just being honest, because that's how I wanted people to be to me. But my words didn't reach anyone.

I was misunderstood. I was young, and I got confused. The world which asks for honesty from the people, rids them with it. It was all torn and twisted, and I had to change my sense of truth. This was the time that I felt that the world was all in shades of gray.

* * *

Time went by, and I learned many things. Like how to deal with people "properly," how to play safe. I became 'oblivious.' It was easy, acting stupid so as not to get too close to others. Besides, I expect nothing from them.

I've become a grown up.

* * *

_"That's the problem of grown ups, they become despairing and hopeless." _

Antonio brushed that memory aside.

* * *

Finally, I can say that I am accepted by the society. But on the inside, I still feel empty.

_Like my house right now. It feels so empty without him._

Antonio learned to check the weather. That day, it says it's going to rain every afternoon for the rest of the week. It seems that summer's ending early this year. He grabbed an umbrella, trying to let his thought wander from a certain Italian.

But his mind has been playing tricks with him. The moment he tried to avert his thoughts, Lovino just come popping on his head. His half-meant frowns and insults, his peaceful breathing when he sleeps, his fascinated look when he looks at the tomato field, his contented face even when they are just lazing about.

That defeated expression.

And the sincere smiles he wears around Antonio.

_I was really happy that he opened up for me. And only me._

Antonio was gazing at the night sky like he did days before. As usual, Sirius is shining brightly in the sky. He raised up his hand and tried to grab it.

"Silly, Lovino. It's really impossible to reach."

He took his cellphone from his pocket and tapped the keys.


	3. Umbrella

**A/N: **thanks again for the reviews, alerts and favorites... I know I'm being really redundant but I really can't contain my gratefulness to all of you...  
**IrisTheFlower - **thanks for pointing out my errors, I will surely look into it...  
**Lovi's Tomato Lover - ** ...so sorry... the cameo was all I could do... (hides) I'm now planning to make a fourth chapter as a sidestory concerning meeting with Grampa Rome, until then, please forgive me!

I think I went too fast (again) in this chapter. I was trying to use a mental approach with this story and I guess I got carried away... Oh God why...

**Chapter Three - Umbrella**

(Lovino's POV and a bit of Antonio's POV at the end)  
(Antonio's POV starts with *)

Lovino ran until he reached his house.

"Fratello, that's unusual, you're so early today!" Feliciano greeted him. "Fratello... are you crying?" He adopted a concerned tone.

Lovino just sobbed. He buried his face on his brother's chest and wept. "It's okay, fratello. Everything's going to be better."

"It h-hurts, Feliciano..."

"It's going to be alright..."

"N-No. He hates me n-now..."

"That's not true, fratello," Feliciano said while not being too sure about the situation.

"I was stupid. I t-thought that h-he could possibly love m-me, too," Lovino choked in his words. "B-But I'm just a child to h-him..."

It took a while before the tears subsided. Feliciano tried to get all the details that Lovino is willing to give. After thinking for a while, he said:

"A teacher and student love, well that's romantic," Feliciano looked meaningfully at Lovino before continuing.

"But that's just a kid's opinion. I think, a teacher who sees a student can never look at other children, even his own... They are the adults, so the responsibility in heavier for them."

Lovino listened well, but what he heard made him even more ashamed of himself.

"But fratello," Feliciano made his brother look him in the eye. "No matter how wrong it seems, love can never be a mistake. The heart can never be wrong."

Lovino cried again.

The next week passed in a blur. Lovino refused to come to school again. Fortunately, Feliciano is more than willing to help him get a home exam.

While answering though, he remembered the promise that the Spaniard gave him. He had to stop halfway from answering because of the overwhelming pain in his chest.

_Is this just going to end this way?_

That night, Lovino saw Sirius shining brightly in the sky. It was just like Antonio said. It was unreachable.

* * *

'That's stupid, Antonio! Of course we could reach the stars! All we have to do is extend our hands further, because they're just always there... waiting for that someone to reach them.'

* * *

_Ah... that's right. I told him not to give up. I shouldn't be backing from my words either._

_But still, what should I do? I already confessed and got rejected._

_I've done my part, all the consequences should not matter anymore..._

* * *

"I think, a teacher who sees a student can never look at other children, even his own... They are the adults, so the responsibility in heavier for them."

* * *

_Maybe, I should just wait. When I'm no longer his student and he's no longer my teacher._

_So... it's just it? Summer school will end without us patching things up?_

*ringtone*

* * *

From: Antonio

Sub: Test results

Message: You have to meet me to

tomorrow to get it.

* * *

_What the hell? When I thought it's already the end... Why? Why did he have to stir up my feelings all over again?_

Lovino wasn't sure if he should come to school or not. It's not like he promised or anything. He could even pretend that he hadn't received a text, or failed to read it on time. But he sure is anxious. What will he do if he meet him? What will he say? Despite his preparedness ever since the morning, Lovino is still contemplating if he should come until it was almost dismissal time.

He is getting more inclined not to come...

But suddenly, it started to rain.

_That bastard probably has no umbrella._

Without a second thought, Lovino grabbed his umbrella and set off.

Sure enough, Lovino found Antonio waiting for him in the familiar run-down shed.

"I knew you would come," Antonio said softly.

"J-Just give me that damn paper..." Lovino snatched the paper and stuffed it in his pocket as soon as the Spaniard took it out. Then he reopened his umbrella and looked meaningfully at Antonio.

"Can I walk you home, Lovino?"

_Why- so sudden?_

"'Cause, it'll be lonely to walk alone, right?"

"W-Whatever bastard!"

The two silently walked, Antonio once again holding the umbrella and letting half of his body get wet. Lovino was expecting the Spaniard to make a detour when they reached the familiar turn but he kept walking forward until they are in front of Lovino's home.

Antonio gave the umbrella for Lovino to hold.

"What about you?"

"It's just a few blocks away from my house. I should be able to run it in a minute," he said, grinning.

There was a short pause. Lovino was really in visible unease. He gulped a few times.

_Is this the end? Do I want it to end this way?_

"I-I still like you, a-after all..." he managed to whisper, looking down. "But don't worry! I could stop loving you, but it will surely take a long time, but it's okay, really." He looked up. "I'll just pursue you again when I get older, or when I'm no longer you're student!" he almost yelled due to his nerves. "If-If that's okay, with you..." he mumbled.

Suddenly, two hands held his red cheeks and soft lips touched his.

When he came back to his senses, Lovino saw that the Spaniard was also blushing, and averts his eyes from him. Lovino just gawked at Antonio.

"Y-You're so cute, I just have to do that..."

Just then, Feliciano opened the gate.

"Ve~?"

Antonio quickly pushed Lovino to his brother and closed the gate himself. He felt wobbly in the knees for a moment and his heart is pounding painfully in his chest. Suddenly, the world became brighter and more colorful.

_*This is bad. I might have fallen in love with him, for real._

* * *

'Do you know what they call elder people who are into children? They call them a pedophile, mon cher.'

* * *

**"My heart is mine, mine alone."**

* * *

_*Ah. Fuck the society. I'm happy._

He took a few steadying breaths and tried to stand straight. It was still raining. He took an umbrella from his bag and walked home, all the while thinking of the problems that the world may throw at him, problems that he doesn't have to face alone.

* * *

A year has passed rather smoothly. Aside from a nervous meeting with Lovino's grandfather that earned Antonio a fractured hand ("If you ever make my grandson sad, you won't get away with just a broken wrist."), there wasn't much of a problem. True, some people would look at them differently whenever they walk around holding hands, but they would just smirk at them ("They're just jealous, Lovi that they couldn't get one fine Italian and a fine piece of Spaniard for themselves~" "Stop praising yourself, moron.").

Back to the present, Lovino is still on the run-down shed, waiting for Antonio. He saw a familiar red car park in front of him.

"Hey, Lovi, did you wait long?" Antonio asked as he opened the car door, gesturing the Italian to enter. How unusual. His house being close to the hospital, he rarely uses the car.

"Not really," Lovino answered. "What's with the car?" he asked as he sat in the passenger seat.

"Oh, I came from the travel agency at the end of the town. I've bought plane tickets."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, this is a year late but," he flashed the tickets. "I'm taking you to Spain this weekend."

* * *

**NOTE: ** So, the 'divided in three parts' was a lie, there will be a sidestory or two after this chapter (because I foolishly skipped so many things and now I can't seem to insert them without making this chapter too fickle) which I could hopefully upload next week... but I'm still marking this as complete. **  
**

**Irrelevant A/N**: This sort of thing kind of happened to me. I was young, fell in love with an older man and... nothing happened. The moment he refused me, I cut all the ties. Well, I was naive before, I never thought about his side of the story. Almost three years later, I grew up a bit and learned more about how the world turns. And as I was writing this I'm having mixed emotions... Makes me wonder what would've happened if I had been more stubborn back then...

So... I have two words for you dear readers. _Carpe diem._ It means, 'Seize the day.' Yes, do it. Because the world is in our hands.


	4. Meeting with the Mafia Boss

**Note:** Thanks for all your support for this story~

**The title:** I want it to sound badass. Sorry.

* * *

**Side Story 1:** Meeting with the Mafia Boss

They are at the Vargas dining room, Mr. Vargas on the father's seat and Antonio in the far opposite. It gives the impression of a business meeting where Mr. Vargas is the president and the Spaniard is a mere worker. Lovino is sitting beside his grandfather like a nervous secretary. Somehow, it makes Antonio feel like someone who did a blunder, and soon will be fed to the lions.

"So... You are my grandson's boyfriend?" Mr. Vargas menacingly asked the Spaniard, as if daring him.

"S-Si," Antonio shakily answered. After mistaking the man for Lovino's father, the elder Italian (who was shaking Antonio's hand that time) crushed the Spaniard's fingers. It was taking all of the shorter brunette's conviction not to shed a tear from the pain.

"He was your student, si?"

"S-Si."

"You are aware that he is 12 years younger than you and is a boy?"

"S-Si..." answered the Spaniard, feeling stupider every second.

"You were his teacher, 12 years older and you still has the guts to go out with my grandson," emphasizing the 'son' part. The elder man droned matter-of-factly, as if it was an everyday incident.

"S-Si," Antonio just muttered again, not knowing what to say. The glare of the old man Vargas intensified. The Spaniard was wondering how in the earth is he still alive while being eyed by the man.

Meanwhile, Lovino is hating the cold atmosphere.

"Nonno, you're scaring hi-"

"Lovino, shut up. You are not to speak until I let you," Mr. Vargas snapped at him. Lovino wilted and the old man returned to scrutinizing Antonio.

"So. What are you planning to do?"

It was as if all the lines he rehearsed to answer that question suddenly left him. It was very unnerving, how the man's gaze seem enough to peel him alive.

"Mr. Antonino-"

"It's Antonio," Lovino whispered.

"Well, whatever. Do you know my grandson well?" Mr. Vargas began without waiting for Antonio to say something about his last question. The Spaniard doesn't know if he should be grateful at the elder Italian's conversing tone.

"Do you know how clumsy he is?"

Lovino visibly flinched at his grandfather's revelations. He looked reproachfully at the man, but he just continued his blaberings.

"He is such a klutz that he broke eight vases, knocked over three bookshelves and had set our house on fire once when he was a child."

The younger Italian was blushing and fidgeting on his seat, sending his grandfather angry hisses.

"He wets his bed until he was seven."

Steam seems to be escaping Lovino's ears now.

"And his staple food is pi-"

"Enough."

Lovino had stood up so suddenly that the two elder men barely noticed. He shot his grandfather a very hurt and annoyed look before stomping out of the house. Antonio is torn between following him or staying with Mr. Vargas when he heard the old man chuckling fondly.

"Isn't he such a fun to tease?" he laughed, wiping the corners of his eyes. The Spaniard had to remind himself how the man had cracked his hand bones in a single squeeze to stop himself from strangling the old man.

"No use of glaring at me like that, old boy," Lovino's grandfather chided. "My grandson's are deadlier."

When he saw that the Spaniard is nowhere from retreating his fierce stare, he coughed a bit and adopted a serious tone again.

"Do you love my grandson?"

Antonio was amazed at how the man could change from one mood to another but this time, his answers are spontaneous.

"Si."

"Do you think you love him more than I do?"

Once again, the Spaniard was caught off-guard. How would one answer to that?

"Do you love him enough take him away from this poor old man?"

"I woul-"

"JUST ANSWER WITH A YES OR NO!" the old man spat, his veins apparent. Antonio went rigid for a moment there...

"S-Si..."

"Well that's good, then," Mr. Vargas said simply. "It's good," but there is a sadness in his voice that did not escaped the Spaniard's hearing.

"S-Sir-"

"You may go. Get out of my sight."

Antonio doesn't know if he will feel relieved or more nervous about this kind of kicking out. But as he walks out the door, the old man's throaty voice said:

"Make my grandson cry and you won't get off with just a fractured wrist."

Antonio glanced back to smile reassuringly to the man but regretted it as Mr. Vargas now wears a creepy face.

"You do that and I will skin you alive with a blunt and rusty bread knife."

It never registered to the Spaniard that Mr. Vargas couldn't probably do that to him because by the looks of it, he can. So Antonio just run for his life right there and then.

His feet brought him to the garden bench where Lovino sits.

"So, you alright?" the Italian asked without sparing him as much as a glance. Antonio was quite shocked at the calmness of the boy's voice.

"I guess so," he answered. "Ahhh~ it feels nice to be able to say words other than 'Si.'"

"Hehe, yeah, you'd say that."

Antonio is not liking the plain-ness of the Italian's voice. It sounds so... err, dead.

"Lovi, are you-?"

"M'fine. Really, fine..."

"But-"

"I should've realized that it's no use," the Italian sobbed so suddenly. He rested his head to the Spaniard's chest. Antonio caressed his back consolingly.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mr. Vargas is at the window, chewing on the curtains.

"I could see you, you bastard!"

"Sir, you'll be late for the meeting now," a (by the looks of it) butler said to him.

"...will sew his skin in rainbow colored threads and-"

"Sir!"

"Oh! Yeah fine! Meeting that is!"

The butler sighed in relief as Mr. Vargas strode down the hall. He heard the man talk to the chef as he followed him.

* * *

"He doesn't love me, you know..."

Antonio gazed questioningly at the still slumping Lovino. The sobs had subsided but there was bitterness in his voice.

"His favorite has always been Feliciano. Always. He was the sweet one anyway so I really couldn't care less...

"But... I was hoping that, you know, he would at least be happy for me," the Italian choked back the forming snivel. "That or he'd at least be like those soap opera fathers that hand me to you and ask you to take good care of me and all that shit..."

He swallowed.

"But I guess that's too much to ask."

"Lovino..." Antonio wiped the Italian's tears and made the boy to face him. "I know it's not that believable coming fron me, but I think your grandfather really loves you."

"Yeah, you probably conclude that after hearing him say those embarassing things..."

"Ha ha, those things we're funny..."

"I'll kill you."

"Just kidding. But really, I think, by saying those things, he is testing me. Testing me if my love for you is enough for me to overlook those things. And that if I'd be willing to take care of you even how clumsy you seem to be, that sort of thing."

"H-How does it come down to that?"

"Ha ha, you're really still very young to understand," Antonio said while patting the boy's head.

"C-Cut it out, you stinky old man!"

"I'm not stinky!"

"You didn't deny the 'old man' part."

"Well, I am 12 years older."

"B-But... It doesn't matter now, right?" Lovino leaned on the Spaniard's shoulders. "And you... You love me enough, right?"

The elder brunette smiled contently.

"Of course, Lovi. If I hadn't I would be dead meat now. You're grandfather would've made sure of it," he shuddered at the thought.

"That's good, then. It's good."

Antonio had to hold back a chuckle at how Lovino had said exactly the same lines as his 'hated' grandfather.

"But I still don't believe that Nonno loves me," Lovino murmured stubbornly. "Your proof isn't enough yet."

Ahh, Mr. Vargas. You still have a long way to go.

"Let's go back, Lovi? I still want to formally ask for your hand from your grandfather," Antonio stood and hold out his hand to Lovino.

"D-Don't make it sound l-like, like marriage! God damn it!"

"Why? You wouldn't marry me?"

Lovino headbutted the Spaniard on the belly.

"BASTARD!"

He stomped back to the house.

Antonio followed limply while nursing his painful rib.

When they reached the dining area, Mr. Vargas wasn't there. All they found was a buffet of pizza and pasta and tomatoes. Everything looks freshly cooked and even the smell was delicious.

"Aren't these... all your favorite food, Lovi?"

The Spaniard turn to see Lovino clutching his mouth, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Antonio smiled and patted his head as he wept.

"He knows you more than you think he does. Do you still need more proof, Lovi?"

"N-No..." Lovino rubbed his eyes and gave a small smile. Antonio was stunned for a moment.

"We are really running late-"

They heard some loud talking from the hallway. They found the butler telling off a flustered Mr. Vargas. They haven't noticed the couple until they were in front of them.

"If you only didn't schedule an appointment at the very same time as the meeting-" the butler chattered away.

"Well I had to meet my grandson's..."

"Nonno..."

"...boyfriend."

The man stopped walking. He kind of blushed but he quickly coughed to regain himself.

"I thought you would act like some sugar-coated lovebirds in the yard longer," the man muttered coldly. Antonio scratched his head guiltily.

"T-Thank you... for everything..." Lovino whispered only for the Spaniard and his grandfather to hear.

"Anito."

"It's Antonio," Lovino chided.

"Whatever. This is just for now. Make my Lovino cry and," he made a gesture of running a finger over his neck. "Mark my words."

"Si," Antonio said confidently, determinedly. The old man nodded and walked off.

* * *

**A/N:** Oh god. I made Antonio say "Si" until the very end. He must have been that nervous towards Grampa Rome. Teehee.

Lovi's Tomato Lover: I hope this suits your taste… And I say you've got an interesting school life.

There is still another side story that I'm working on. I'll probably upload it early next week since I'm going out of town this weekend. Till next time :)


	5. Snow

**A/N: **Sorry for the wait… I hope you'll also like this side story. Thanks for pointing out my errors and liking the story despite its many inaccuracies.

There will be shifting POV's in here. It will be specified. But the ones in the center are their mutual thoughts.

There will also be some time skips that will come unannounced.

**CookiesForTheNeko**: Oh God why… I really have no idea how Grampa Rome treats Lovino since his interactions in canon were only with Feli, Ludwig and Germania… so for the sake of the story and Lovino's "hate" for his Nonno, I just made him a somewhat tsundere terrorizing obstacle between Antonio and Lovi. Sorry for not warning everyone for OOCness. Thanks for pointing this out. I'll really be careful next time…

**Oniongrass**: I don't know if these are the answers that you are looking for but… The former chapter was supposed to be a neutral POV but you can view it as Antonio's. In the other chapters, it's indicated in the beginning.

**Angsty chapter ahead…**

**Side Story 2: **Snow

I want to hold you.  
But I'm so scared.  
Scared that when I do,  
I'll wake from this beautiful dream.  
The world will pull us apart,  
and I'll have to let you go.

* * *

(Antonio)

_Almost half a year since we started dating. After the rain washed the summer away, autumn closely followed. Then the winter wrapped its white blanket around, spreading its coldness and quiet serenity. Meanwhile, persons searching for warmth finds them in each other's hands._

_We are not one of them._

"Lovi…"

Lovino glanced at Antonio, his eyes hazy, as if far away. The Spaniard smiled assuringly at the Italian. The boy just looked down and tugged at the elder man's sleeve and they continue to walk home.

_Am I selfish?_

_Is it selfish to have this kind of desire? To touch his hand, to hold him close, to mark him as my own… Even though I know it's wrong. But still, this feeling gets stronger everyday. I'm afraid that sooner or later, I'll give in. And when that day comes, he's bound to get hurt by all of these. Then, I'll realize that I had been selfish all along to even start this relationship._

Lovino's grip tightened. Antonio saw him staring, and the boy looked away with a blush.

_This is bad. Whenever I look at him, he reminds me why I had been selfish in the beginning. Whenever he looks at me, he makes me forget all my resolve of restraining myself._

_But I don't want him to get hurt._

* * *

(Lovino)

_First there were the raindrops. Then there were the dry leaves. Another season passed and now, snow falls down, covering the earth in its wintry whiteness. The icy winds make people search for warmth – we are not an exception._

_However, said warmth is harder for us to find._

"Lovi…"

Antonio met Lovino's gaze. His eyes were dark and intense, as if he is in deep thought. The Spaniard forced a smile. He offered his sleeve and Lovino tugged on it, looking down. Slowly, they walked their way home.

_Am I greedy?_

_Is it greedy to yearn for his warmth? To intertwine our fingers, to be wrapped in his arms, to feel his breath on my skin… even though it's not right. But still, I hope for it every single day. Although, I'm afraid that when that time comes, he'll be the one to get more damage. Then I'll realize that I had been greedy enough to drag him into this mess._

Antonio felt how Lovino tightened his grip. When their eyes met, Lovino seemed electrified and looked away, his face warming up.

_This is bad. Whenever he looks me in the eye, I am reminded why I tried to be greedy in the beginning. Whenever I look at him, this want just gets stronger and too much to handle._

_But I don't want to get him hurt._

* * *

It doesn't really matter where you are.  
However near it's still so far.  
It's like you're light years away from me.*

* * *

(Third-person POV)

There's one lovely coffee shop near the town square which serves great cakes. Antonio and Lovino would sometimes meet in there after Lovino's classes. It can be their second haven after Antonio's house. Not that they get tired of the Spaniard's mansion, but it sure is nice to be out once in a while. Besides, the Italian boy took a great liking for the tortes served in there, and there's also the enticing music of the pianist-owner of the place. And with the chilliness of the surroundings, a nice cup of coffee is always a good thing.

And it seems that their one time too many dates in the said place attracted the interest of the waitress-owner. (Seemingly, that the pianist and the waitress are spouses which own the coffee shop) One time, the woman commented on their apparent routinely meet-ups in the place.

"I often see the two of you together," she commented as she takes their order. "You two seem pretty close. Are you relatives?"

The two males flinched at her question. Lovino gave Antonio a hopeful glance.

"N-No…" Antonio answered lamely, while giving Lovino an apologetic look. "Just teacher and student…"

The Italian just huffed and avoided his gaze for the rest of the evening.

* * *

(Lovino)

_It's not like there's something I can do about it. I could imagine how she would've freaked out if she knows. But still, it pains me that no matter how close I could get to him, it's sill not enough. I still can't reach him._

* * *

(Third-person POV)

There are times when the two enjoy each other's company too much that they would be sitting in the shop until its very late. Once, the waitress even shyly told them that they were already closing. They hurriedly went off, embarrassed, while apologizing non-stop to the unminding couple-owners.

"Brrrr, it's cold outside…" Antonio commented as the wintry air swept over them.

He turned to look at Lovino and saw him staring at the couple closing their store.

"It got really late without us knowing, he he," the Spaniard said. He joined the Italian in his watch. It seems that the waitress feels cold and the pianist blushingly let her hold onto him. The woman cooed and snatched his hand and they walked away, smiling. Antonio heard Lovino sigh.

"Lovi…"

The Italian tugged onto his sleeve and they walked home in silence.

* * *

(Antonio)

_We keep getting closer and closer, yet never touching, as if there's a wall between us. It's like waiting and waiting for something that will never come. And there's nothing I can do about it._

* * *

There was a snowflake falling down.  
It was so beautiful that I want to catch it and keep it.  
But it melted as soon as it touched my hand.

* * *

(Third-person POV)

Lovino watched as the snow turns into water in his palms.

"Fratello, don't you have your mittens?" Feliciano asked, popping right behind him. They were at school and it was dismissal time. The elder Italian gasped at the sudden intrusion of his personal space.

"Gaaahhh! Get lost, Feliciano!"

"Awww… but fratello, I forgot my mittens too, and I'm freezing! Brrrr…" Feliciano pouted.

"I don't care, mind your own business."

All of a sudden, the younger Italian grasped Lovino's hands and pulled him to walk. "Isn't it warmer, this way, fratello?" he grinned cheekily when Lovino followed. "Veee~"

* * *

(Lovino)

_Warmth in my hands. Has humans always been this warm? _

_I want to share this warmth with him. I want to hold him as well. But I can't, and my heart hurts as if it has been squeezed inside out._

* * *

"Whatever," he pouted. Together they walked home. However, Antonio was waiting for Lovino at the shed. They stopped abruptly when they spotted him.

"Hola!" he greeted cheerfully. Lovino unconsciously tightened his grip to Feliciano. The younger Italian looked questioningly at his brother. Meanwhile, Antonio bit his lip.

"Ciao, big brother Antonio~" Feliciano greeted back.

"C-Ciao…" Lovino shyly murmured.

Feliciano took his hand away from his brother and pushed him to the Spaniard. "This is for the last time that I walked into you," he winked at Antonio.

"W-Wha- the fuck, Feli?" the elder Italian shrilly asked, but his brother was already skipping away and had apparently thrown himself to an unexpecting blond German even before was Lovino was able to stand on his own feet.

"Let him be, Lovi…" the Spaniard cooed, helping his lover stand. "Let's get going, si?" he absent-mindedly offered his hand. Lovino looked pryingly at him and the Spaniard realized his slip. He closed his palm and withdrew, looking away.

"S-Si…" the Italian looked down and just walked beside him, placing his cold hands in his pockets.

* * *

(Antonio)

_There's nothing more painful than to see the one you love cold, and you can't even share him your warmth._

* * *

Is it because we are both men?  
Is it because we are 12 years apart?  
Or is it because, I just didn't reach far enough?

* * *

(Third-person POV)

It's Christmas eve and despite the cold, many people are bustling in the town, shopping for presents, warming themselves or just enjoying the holiday feel. With the number of persons running all over the place, it's not impossible to get lost in a crowd.

"Lovi! Where are you?" Antonio shouted, his heart racing. There are too many people hurrying about and he can't find the Italian. He cursed himself for not paying attention while in the back of his mind, a voice keeps telling him that this shouldn't have happened if he held the Italian's hand. He cursed himself once more, glaring at the people who made him lose his lover, who made him not hold him close.

"I-I'm here, Antonio!" Lovino's voice said from behind him. He saw a hand waving frantically at him, while the crowd seems to be dragging him away. The Spaniard quickly made his way to the hand, not even bothering to apologize to the persons he carelessly shoved along the way. When he set his eyes to Lovino's disheveled state, he embraced him tightly.

"N-No, Antonio, the people are loo-"

"I DON'T CARE!" the Spaniard snapped. "Let them look, Lovino. Let them see how much I love you. I don't care anymore, I've been holding back for a long time. I don't want to lose you again!"

* * *

(Lovino)

_Ah. How sly. Making it look like he's the only one waiting all this time._

* * *

"B-Bastard," Lovino sobbed on his chest. "I almost got tired of waiting…"

Sure there are people watching. Some whispered accusingly. Some were dumbfounded. Some just glanced and passed. Some paused to look and smiled. But the two could never really care less.

* * *

"That was kinda embarrassing," Lovino scoffed as they walked to the coffee shop home together, hand in hand. "You're a jerk, you know what."

"A ha ha ha… sure was," Antonio hummed, not really concerned. He seemed to be walking on rainbows since the incident. "But it's alright now, si?" he squeezed the hand in his.

Lovino smirked. "Never been better."

The sky slowly grew darker. The Sirius appeared, glowing brightly as ever.

"Hey, Lovi…"

"Hmmm?"

"You once said that 'stars are just waiting for someone to reach them,' right?"

"…probably," Lovino said off-handedly. Antonio glanced at him.

"S-So… if you're a star, Lovi… did I reach far enough?" The Spaniard was gazing at Lovino so intently, that the Italian had to stop a chortle. He failed though.

Lovino lifted their holding hands, as if showing it to the Spaniard. "What do you think?"

Before Antonio could understand the hint, they apparently reached the coffee shop as a woman's voice in Hungarian accent greeted, "Welcome."

The two guys looked at the waitress, and saw her eyes glint at their intertwined fingers. She smiled serenely and said, "Have I told you, you look really beautiful together?"

The two men blushed.

* * *

**A/N: **Whenever I write Spamano, I imagine Hagi or Conya's Spain and Romano. I don't know why. That may be the reason why the Romano I write is not so cussy. As for Spain, I don't know how he turned out this way (grins). This will be the last chapter for now since I have no more idea what to write in this verse. Besides, I'll be focusing on an idea for another short multi-chaptered fic so please watch out for it as well. Thanks for all your support until now.

*comes from a song titled "Lightyears" by the Eraserheads (from my country. oh now you'll find me X3)


	6. The Twelve Year Gap

The Twelve Year Gap

A/N: And... I'm back with this story! I suddenly had an inspiration for this verse... So I hope you'll like this. This part might be a three or two-shot depending on my mood... And the updates might not be as fast as before. Still using my phone for this so sorry for the lack of text formats.

.::.

"I love you."

From the eighteen year old me to the thirty year old you...

Will the twelve years between us make us change these words?

.::.

February 10

(Lovino's POV)

It's Antonio's birthday in two days. His thirtieth birthday. 'Too old!' Lovino once joked, earning a pout from the Spaniard. But no matter how much he teased his boyfriend about it, he doesn't actually mind. They've been dating for more than two years, what's to complain about? Well, he just loves making fun of the tomato bastard once in a while... Or maybe more than once in a while...

"You're so mean, Lovi," Antonio cried one time.

"Why? I'm just saying the truth," the Italian retaliated, not too kindly.

"B-But... It's really bugging me too much already! To the point that it makes me feel uneasy how everytime you're with your friends... Your age group and... And it's making me w-worried t-that one day you'll get tired of an old man like me and w-want them instead..." the elder brunette lamented, tears already soaking his cheeks.

That was the last time Lovino teased Antonio about it.

"There, there," the younger awkwardly patted the taller's back as the Spaniard stooped down to him, sobbing on the Italian's chest. "Sorry... I'm just kidding..."

"B-But..."

"Don't worry anymore..." he lifted Antonio's face up to his and they gazed at each others eyes for a while. Those emerald green eyes that enthralled Lovino so much... Closer and closer and closer... Until Antonio looked away.

"Aaahh, Lovi, I'm already fine. I'm fine..."

Ahh... He avoided me again.

Lovino really felt so uncomfortable that time... Which was two days ago. Since then, he was careful not to mention the age-issue. Right now, he was thinking of ways to make it up to him on the Spaniard's birthday. And also, he wants his gift to be the best ever...

But he has no idea what to get.

"Hamburger and milkshake."

Lovino realized that it was very wrong to ask an ever so hungry American. He facepalmed and moved on to the next person at once.

"What, are you saying that it was a bad idea? Geez dude, you so don't know what's essential and cool."

"Shut up now, Alfred. I'm already through with you," he said in exasperation. "And stop following me!"

"You're missing the best thing dude."

Lovino made use of his Italian speed to get rid of the American. Next person...

"Pasta~!"

His brother was not any different. What did he expect, really?

"Or this white flag, fratello. You'll never know it might come useful..."

"I sometimes want to disown you."

"Veeeee..."

Moving on! Lovino spotted Arthur. The Brit is considered a smartie so maybe he could talk sense.

"R-Really? You are asking m-my suggestion?" the blonde asked increduoudly. (Why does he look so flattered?) If he had a choice, the Italian wouldn't go to Arthur but the situation asked for it so... He just made sure to avert his eyes from those gargantuan eyebrows.

"Y-Yeah... If you don't mind..."

Arthur coughed intellectually. "Well then... The best gift would be..."

After talking to the Brit, the Italian found himself carrying petrified muffins and earl grey tea bags. And he thought Arthur would be better than his wimpy brother and the American duuuuddde. These were even worse! He just gave the loot to Alfred when eyebrows wasn't looking.

"I had been spying you, Lovino-san."

"O-Oh yeah?" the Italian shuddered at realizing who his 'stalker' was.

"Ohayo, Lovino-san. I hope this helps." The Japanese boy bowed after thrusting a parcel on the Italian's chest. He then disappeared just like that.

"The hell!" Lovino can't help but swear when the package turned out to be a maid outfit. A freaking maid outfit. He stuffed the dress away before anyone could spot it.

"Is that a maid outfit, fratello?"

Forget 'before anyone could spot it.'

"The dress is a lie, Feliciano! It is a lie!"

.::.

The day ended without any progress. AT ALL. Lovino walked lifelessly beside Matthew. The maid outfit fiasco seemed to have reduced his lifespan dramatically.

"Aarrrgghh! Nothing's making sense at all!" he lamented. "I only have one day..."

"Hmmm..." the Canadian hummed thoughtfully. "Are you coming to Antonio's today?"

"No... He said he's going to meet some persons today so..." the Italian scratched his head. Now that he thinks about it, he has no idea who those persons might be. It wasn't just the two perverts apparently. "Why do you ask?"

"Come with me a bit."

Matthew brought his best friend on a bookstore.

"You see, since Antonio is a doctor, he might be someone who reads a lot..."

"You really are the best guy ever, Matthew! Really, really best..." Lovino wrapped the Canadian in a tackling hug. He was just that happy. At last, a guy who with sense. At last, he will have a proper gift for Antonio.

.::.

February 11.

On his phone, Lovino reread his Notes entry for the next day agenda.

Lovino's plans for Antonio's birthday.

Since it's on a Sunday, they would go to a church first thing in the morning. And then they would go to their favorite coffee shop in town, and then they go back to Antonio's house to watch some movies Alfred and Kiku loaned him (after the maid dress commotion, as peace offering) while eating pasta that he will cook for him (Feliciano's suggestion was useful in some way) and then he will sleep over there again. But he will give his gift first before sleeping and perhaps... they could be so lovey-dovey in some way...

.::.

Because truth be told...

Antonio never kissed Lovino again... after the first time, when they finally got together, it took almost half a year to even hold hands and then it never went further than that. The Spaniard always finds a way to avert the situations, it's frustrating! Well, there were hugs but... He's a growing teen, alright? He wants things like that... Though he'd never admit it out loud. That would be too embarassing. Besides, he knows that perhaps, Antonio has a good reason for it.

Or maybe, he still thinks of Lovino as a mere child. But he'd rather not think about that.

So... The best thing to do is to create the perfect atmosphere and perhaps, things will go the way he's planned. Hopefully.

Because if it didn't, he doesn't know what to think anymore.

Hey Antonio... am I still not enough for you?

"I also don't think that I can love a kid who doesn't want to sleep with me."

He almost forgot about those words that time but... Right now, these old anxieties and insecurities resurface, making him feel so uncertain and doubtful.

Antonio, do you really love me?

.::.

Antonio called Lovino on the phone in the afternoon.

"Oh, I'll be having visitors for my birthday tomorrow, Lovi. Isn't that nice? They said they'd make a party for me!"

What...?

"Well, my old friends had been planning to have a get together or something and since my birthday's coming and it is a Sunday, I suggested we do it then and in my house. Cool, eh?"

"Y-Yeah, cool," Lovino whispered, hearing his dreams shatter like glass.

"So... Would you come? You might be out-of-place there..."

The Italian felt that Antonio was hesitating on something.

"Am I invited?" he asked.

"Ahhh," Lovino heard Antonio sigh deeply. And then, he said in an unnaturally happy voice,"Of course! Of course! And you can sleep over if you want!"

"Okay..."

At least... There's still that. It's alright Lovino. You can still make it.

.::.

February 12.

"My, my," a cute blonde girl asked. "Who might this little cutie be?" she winked at Lovino, making the Italian blush.

"He's out-of-bounds, Bella. He's just seventeen," Antonio put the Italian on his other side (which is beside an already wasted Gilbert, damn you Antonio). Yeah, right, like a thing. And then he chattered away with that 'Bella.'

"Enjoying?" Francis asked good-naturedly at Lovino from across the table. The Italian just glared and focused on his plate.

"Ahh, I wonder why Antonio even made you come..."

Lovino decided to act like he hadn't heard.

They were sitting at Antonio's dining table: Antonio, him, Gilbert, Francis, that 'Bella,' Jeanne (Francis's kind girlfriend), and a huge guy with a pipe and scar in above his eyebrow. The last guy just drinks and smokes, happily not taking part from the conversations. On their table were Antonio's cookings and booze (which Lovino isn't allowed to touch) and some cigarettes. How funny. To think they are doctors (except Francis).

He also wonders why is he even there. He is obviously not that welcome, and the only person he can talk to is busy with other persons. Really, everything was as different as he hoped for, and he is starting to want to go home. Which is unusual, considering he is Lovino Vargas.

"Oh, right! Here is our gift for you, Antonie~" Bella took a very pink package from her paper bag and gave it to the birthday celebrant. The Italian also took out his package.

"A tomato pillow!" Antonio announced gleefully. "I have really wanted one, gracias!"

"It's nothing. We all know how you can sleep just anywhere, ahaha! Why! You even sleep in classes before~"

"Aaahhh, that was a long time ago... Though I admit I still have that habit, ehehehe..." Antonio said embarrassedly.

"You really amaze me, why, you can even fall asleep after three pages of reading! It's a wonder how you even became a doctor with you being a bibliophobe!"

Lovino flinched at this remark. His grip on his gift tightened a bit.

"Gil and Franny helped me big time before..."

"Kesesese! That's my awesomeness for you!" Gilbert suddenly awakened and gave Antonio his gift... Which is additional beers... Which will surely be consumed by the albino anyway. Well there was still the birthday card attached.

"Wow, Gil... The message.. It's really touching!" Antonio sniffed after reading.

"Y-Yeah... Because I'm awesome," the white-haired guy was teary as well. What!

"Ohonhonhon, well then, this is ours," Francis threw a paper bag to the Spaniard.

"A Spanish flag motif matador outfit!" Antonio said in awe. "I really wanted this but I was never able to find one!"

"Well, Jeanne and I made it especially for you~"

"Gracias! So very much!"

Why... Why does everyone else seem to get things Antonio really wants? Why do they seem to know Antonio more than him? Why... Why doesn't Lovino know that much about his boyfriend?

Ahhh... Simple. How could Lovino ever know what's going on in the head of a man twelve years older than him?

Lovino did not give his gift that time. Antonio looked at him quite expectingly but he was instantly bugged by Bella.

The elders continued their drinking and endless reminiscings that Lovino doesn't know about. How annoying...

"Well, it's your 30th Antonio, have you planned on marriage yet?"

"Ahhh... About that..." Antonio said awkwardly. "Not yet..."

"Don't tell me you still haven't got a partner! Oh, well you can always count on me, hahaha!"

"Erm, thanks, but no thanks..."

"I was just kidding silly!" Bella brushed it off with a laugh, a blush painting her cheeks which might or might not be from the alcohol. "But really, we aren't getting any younger..."

Lovino felt his stomach lurch.

If someone like him decided on to be married, it will definitely scandalize the people. If a person like Antonio said that he is not yet getting married, people will also be horrified. The difference between them, those twelve years...

Why is it so hard to get over it?

Will someone like Antonio be better with someone like Bella?

Suffocating. Antonio's world is suffocating for Lovino.

He slipped from the table without anyone noticing... Well he thought no one noticed.

"Going home?" Francis asked from behind Lovino. The Italian turned to see the French and Gilbert from behind him as he escapes to the back door.

"Yeah..."

"It's already past curfew. Didn't Antonio ask you to stay for the night?"

"I don't want to."

The Frenchman scrutinized him. But then his expression softened.

"I know you might be bothered by some things but please remember that you love Antoine. You know you do."

Yeah... That's right but still... What about Antonio?

"Gil, take him home safely, okay?"

"Ja."

"I could walk home alone!"

"Nah. Antonio would get angry if you do. Besides, I could also do with some fresh air... Damn my head spins." And Gilbert walked out the door even before him.

.::.

"Say... How did you know what Antonio likes?"

Lovino couldn't help but ask the albino. It was embarrassing, yes, but since Gilbert is a little less than wasted then hopefully, he'll forget about it the next day.

"What? That's easy. Toni loves anything as long as its from us! Kesesesesese!"

"Eh? Why? Because you've been friends since forever?"

"What are you talking about? It's not about the time we've spent together. It's because we are friends, long term or short term doesn't matter. And that includes you, too, you know!" Gilbert looked at Lovino as if he was trying to be funny.

"Is that so..."

"Ja! He would appreciate anything as long as it's from us, you and us."

They reached Lovino's house.

"Well, I'm going back now, then. See ya!"

"Hang on," Lovino said. He was still holding his gift for Antonio. He sighed and handed it to the albino. "I think he might not want this but... This is what I only got him."

"Okay, I'll give it to him later."

"Yeah... Thanks."

He watched as Gilbert disappeared in a corner.

He didn't get to do his plans but maybe it's for the better. He looked at the sky and found their favorite star. It made him smile.

He searched for his phone to call Feliciano to open the gates but realized that it wasn't with him. And also his bag with clothes and things for school tomorrow - he forgot them at Antonio's.

Damn.

.::.

(Third person POV)

"Here, Lovino asked me to give this to you," Gilbert handed Antonio the gift. The place when he returned was awfully quiet an empty. Seems like the others already left.

"Eh? Why? Where did he go?" the Spaniard asked.

"Home," Gilbert simply said. "And I think I'll get going as well."

"Oh yeah, okay."

"Herzlichen Glückwunsch."

"Gracias..."

Once alone, Antonio opened Lovino's gift. He wondered why the Italian didn't give it to him a while ago...

"A book..."

Oh. Bella had said something about his fear of books. He bit his lip. Oh well, he needs to thank Lovino properly.

Antonio took his phone to call Lovino. He had no chance to entertain him at all... And he was hoping that maybe they could spend the night watching stars like before. He even drank only a few to stay sober!

*Ring*

The Spaniard heard Lovino's phone from the table. He saw it and took it.

"Oh no, Lovi... You forgot your phone and things here..."

He decided to do some browsing in the Italian's phone. Lovino might get angry but he didn't have to know, right?

"Lovino's plans for Antonio's birthday."

As he read the contents, Antonio felt his stomach drop.

.::.

TBC


	7. One Step at a Time

Whoopp! Besame Mucho is updated. YESSSSS.

One Step at a Time

*Ring*

Antonio was startled when Lovino's phone suddenly rang. 'Idiot Brother' says the screen. (His number was named 'Tomato Bastard,' really what would you expect?)

"Hello?"

"So you found my phone."

"Yeah, Lovino. Why did you go home already?" Antonio asked as he took Lovino's bag from the couch.

"... I felt like it," the Italian murmured. Antonio swears that it sounds so sad.

"Ahh, sí. I'm sorry for dragging you like that," he said apologetically. He carries the backpack and walk out in to the night.

"It's alright... It's not like you didn't think that I'd be out of place there."

"But still... It wasn't fair for you. Really what was I thinking..." Antonio felt guiltier every second.

"It doesn't matter 'cause..." Lovino swallowed. "I also want to spend this day with you. And I think I gotta do it in a way..."

The Spaniard was speechless. He also felt like his face was on fire. On the other line, so was Lovino.

"Anyway, I just called to tell you that I'll get my things tomorrow so good night..."

"Are you already in your room? Come out a bit."

"What?"

And then the line was dead. The Italian was confused at the command but still he found himself stepping out of his balcony. He heard a thump from the gate and found a bag thrown at the ground. Next, he saw a person's shadow climbing the gate from the outside.

He was instantly filled with dread. The man must be a robber! He instantly crouched down into a crawling position, peeking to the shadow through the gaps of his balcony fence. He quickly dialled for Antonio.

"Antonio! T-There's a robber in the house!"

"What?"

"He-He's walking on the pathwalk to our house! I saw him climbing our gate when you asked me to go out!" Lovino trembled.

"Look, Lovino. Please calm down. I'm currently in the pathwalk you are talking about and I don't see anyone around..."

"You're what?"

"I'm walking to your house?"

"Where are you? Wave at me! I can still see from the balcony."

Lovino saw the suspicious shadow waving at him.

What the hell.

"You scared the shit out of me, bastard! Why didn't you say that you're sneaking at my house!"

"I-I'm sorry! I wanted to surprise you," Antonio was kneeling before Lovino in the balcony (he climbed through the fire exit ladder).

"Well I was fucking surprised, thank you very much!" the Italian snarled sarcastically. He was heaving in anger, panic, and adrenaline. "When you said you were also there... I thought that maybe the robber might attack you," suddenly the Italian broke into a sob.

The Spaniard quickly got to his feet and embraced his boyfriend. "I'm very sorry, querido... When Gil told me you already left, I was really guilty and sad. I was really looking forward for that sleep over... And then when I heard your voice, (probably for the first time this whole day) I realized how I already missed you and I wanted to see you at once."

"Stupid bastard..." Lovino said chokingly on the Spaniard's chest. Antonio meanwhile was rubbing Lovino's back.

"Forgive me..?"

The Italian withdrew himself from Antonio's comforting warmth and gazed at the Spaniard. Once again, olive met emerald. Still being held close by the Spaniard, Lovino braced himself for a kiss...

But it did not come.

"Ahh, Lovi! I really want to thank you properly for your gift."

Again. He avoided it again.

"Yeah, your welcome! I don't care if you're a fucking book-phobic, you have to read that, damn it!" Lovino snarled, pushing Antonio away and turning around.

"Of course, of course," Antonio assured him. "Anything for mi amor." Lovino felt the Spaniard's toned arms wrapping around him again, Antonio's chin resting over his head. Sneaky bastard. "It's still my birthday, right?"

Lovino glanced at his watch: 11:54.

"Yeah, it is."

"Can I spend the remaining minutes with mi corazon?"

"Suit yourself," Lovino whispered. Antonio's hug became a bit tighter.

"Can mi amor sing me happy birthday?"

"You're crossing the line, bastard."

"Por favor?" How does Antonio manage to sound so adorable?

"Fuck." Lovino had given up.

Cumpleaños feliz

cumpleaños feliz

te amo Antonio

cumpleaños feliz.

Lovino sang very softly, hoping that the Spaniard haven't heard the altered lyrics. But on a quiet night like this, even Matthew's whispers sound loud.

"Yo también te amo," Antonio murmured while taking Lovino's hand in his and bringing it close to his lips. "Te amo." (He kissed the folded fingers) "Te amo mucho." (He kissed the back of the hand) "Te amo siempre y para siempre." (He intertwined their fingers and returned to embracing Lovino)

They retained that position until a clock chimed midnight somewhere. Slowly, the Spaniard let go.

"Thank you very much, Lovino."

"Yeah."

"I'll be going now..." Antonio returned to the fire exit ladder.

"Yeah... Be careful!" The Spaniard smiled before descending. The Italian also went back to his room.

"Oh, wait..."

Lovino glanced back.

"Tomorrow, Valentines Day."

Yes?

"I want you to spend it with me, sí?" Antonio was looking very hopeful and apprehensive.

"Do you still have to ask? Moron."

Antonio just smiled and went. When Lovino was finally alone, he kissed his hand where he felt Antonio's lips brushed a while ago.

These small steps... I hope one day, they will bring me closer to you.

.::.

Fluffy chapter. I'm marking this complete in the mean time again. I still have SO MANY further plans for this story but if I stopped updating because something happened to me (I was bitten by my cat by accident, but I won't get injected because... I don't want to make my parents spend money! We're poor! And I trust my cat? Something like that. I have read many articles about rabies but my cat shows no signs of infection. She just accidentally bit my finger when I was feeding her...), you can think of this as the closing chapter. But if I'm still alright by say, next week... I'll take requests from the first five reviewers for this chapter. (Celebrating life, yeah!) How's that? See you again... I hope ^ヮ^


	8. Out of Reach

Out of Reach

(My mum got me injected. I am so going to be fine. Suddenly I felt so happy to be alive. So I present to you another angsty chapter (how ironic). Some commented that they like Insightful! Gilbert so he's back! I'm not gonna lie. I have the hots for Prussia since he is the closest thing to Pirate! Spain. And I'm yet to write a Pirate! Spain so I'll content myself with the awesome. On a side note, I also have the hots for Gentle! & Brotherly! Spain, so...)

(over 3000 words for this, yay!)

(Spoiler alert: for those who asked for a kiss... Brace yourselves :p

.::.

The Spaniard has decided. He will definitely make it up with the Italian's ruined plans for his birthday (though the balcony scene seemed to have the same effect that both of them were hoping for). So, for the Valentines, they are going to do what they failed to do so in Antonio's birthday.

Even though he knows it already by heart, he'll list them down just in case.

Plans for the Valentines

Even though it is a school day, Lovino said he'll skip school (the Spaniard has been very cross about this decision), so Antonio would fetch Lovino from his house in the afternoon, then they will go to their favorite coffeeshop and have dinner at Antonio's. And then they would watch the movies Lovino had and have a sleep over. Okay, that was it.

.::.

February 13

Antonio woke up almost late in the afternoon. It was expected though since he fell asleep already past midnight. Good thing that the hospital allowed him a leave since it was his birthday last Sunday. He was supposed to go tomorrow though since they would be very short with staff - Jeanne and Bella both would take the Valentines day off. But at least, he would be free by afternoon... Though they are supposed to have a Valentine's day party at the hospital. Initially, he plans to invite Lovino in the gathering but remebering his out-of-place-ness before, he changed his mind quickly.

It was really weird to see Lovino looking like that when Antonio thought that the Italian was happiest when with him. He guessed that there are always exceptions in life.

He realized he had nothing to do at all this afternoon. He fixed himself and decided to go fetch Lovino from school.

.::.

Lovino is somewhere near being smashed as he tried to keep himself alert in class. He lacks sleep (because of one thing and another), he still feels the euphoria of the last night's events and he can't wait for the next day to come so he'll have a date with Antonio. What will Antonio do for him? He is so excited. Now, the Italain is planning to skip school the next day so he'll have the whole day with the Spaniard. But when he texted Antonio about it, he was told not to. He felt a bit put out and pouted until his boyfriend finally allowed him to. Besides, the school will just have a stupid program the next day, like "Kissing Booths", "Marriage Booths", "Jail Booths", etcetera, etcetera. Even if Antonio don't allow him to, the Italian would've definitely skipped school that day to avoid those shits that only Feliciano and Kiku and Alfred is happy about.

"Veeee~ fratello, you'd be missing the fun~"

Stupid Feliciano. No, I don't find being jailed and fined for trivial reasons to be fun.

"Dude! You won't get married as easily as tomorrow!"

I don't care, Alfred. Who wants fake marriages? Cazzo.

"Ahh... But the Kissing Booth Lovino-san... Surely it sounds nice."

... If it's not Antonio, I wouldn't want to be kissed at all. And since it's not Antonio, no thank you.

"You mean, after all these years of dating you two haven't kissed yet? At all?" Matthew asked quietly.

"Well... He did kiss me before... But it never happened again, that pussy..." Lovino grumbled. "Actually it's making me worry. I mean... He's an adult. Surely, he wants to do it as much as I do?"

"You have a point... But have you tried asking him his reasons?"

"I... I can't. Everytime he avoids it, I'm telling you, there had been so many occasions that we get too close, he'd quickly change the topic to reduce the awkwardness and... It frustrates me!"

"That's... I don't know. I think I might know his reason but... I don't think it should be applicable considering you are lovers..."

"That's why I feel irritated..! But tomorrow, for sure-"

*Ring*

The class was dismissed. Feliciano, Lovino, Matthew, Alfred, Kiku and Arthur went home together.

"Ahh, I'm sure you'd all enjoy the event tomorrow. After all, the student council worked to the bones to make the program possible," Arthur proudly said.

"Veee~ I am really excited already... I only wish that Luddy can come..."

"Oh, haven't I told you? The school will be open for everyone tomorrow. More visitors mean more funds for the SC," said the Brit.

"Yay! That would be so nice! I'm going to call him now..."

"No! Don't Feliciano! I don't want to see you with that potato eater tomorrow!"

"What's the problem, fratello? I thought you'd skip school so you don't have to see us~"

"Bastard! Not because I can't see, the mental image would also be gone!"

"Lovino..." Arthur murmured sadly. "Y-You wouldn't come? Why?"

The disappointment and sadness in Arthur's voice made Lovino feel so guilty and creeped out.

"Erm... I have a date?"

"A d-date! Are you an idiot, you git! Why don't you just go on an adventure date tomorrow on our school?"

"W-Well..."

"You'd let our preparations go to waste just so you can go on a d-date?"

"There there, Arthur-san, calm down..."

"Right Artie! Relax!"

"How can I-"

"I'm really sorry!" Lovino bowed shakily at Arthur's wrath. "I-I just want t-to spend that special day with the person I l-l-l-lo-like w-without any one giving u-us accusing glances s-so..."

"Lovino..."

"I think he has a point..." Matthew interjected.

"Yes, yes, I see. I'm sorry for overreacting," Arthur patted the elder Italian's back awkwardly.

"Jeez... Now I'm feeling a bit warm all over my face," Alfred hummed.

Kiku was taking candid shots.

"Veee~ fratello, don't worry. It's you and big brother Toni we are talking about. It will be fine..." he hugged his brother.

"I'm not gonna cry, damn it!"

.::.

From a distance, Antonio saw Lovino's group approaching. They all seem to be so happy and enjoying together. It's so nice to know that almost three years ago, no one would have thought that the Italian could ever wear such a blissful, such an alive expression.

Lovino spotted him, and he bade goodbyes to his friends. The others pushed him to Antonio's direction teasingly... And when he turned, Antonio saw Lovino looking so nervous and agitated.

"You seem so happy, that's nice."

"Ahh, yeah. My friends helped me skip school tomorrow..."

"Ahh... But... Aren't you going to miss things big time? Your school decorations are so pretty. It seems the event would be very big..."

"Yes... Every year, the student council's last project before graduation is the Valentine's event so they give it their best. I'm sure that the students would really enjoy this year. After all, it's Arthur who-"

Judging from Lovino's animated expression, he seems to really like the event after all.

"Say... Would you like to attend the event?"

"Not really. I have a date with you tomorrow, remember?"

Antonio felt a pang of guilt. Lovino would miss his last event before graduation because of him.

"But we could always postpone it... While this event will only happen once..."

"What the fuck are you getting at?" suddenly, Lovino scowled.

"Well, I'm saying that maybe you should go to school tomorrow for the event..." Antonio pouted thoughfully.

"Why?"

"Erm... Because it's a good part of being a student to have events like these..." the Spaniard scratched his head uneasily.

"You're saying that we won't have a date tomorrow?"

"We can just do it on Saturday..."

"Well, fuck you, Antonio."

His eyes swimming in tears, Lovino pushed Antonio and walked off.

Am I the only one who was looking forward to being with you?

.::.

"Oh no... Alfred, I think I've forgotten Kumataro in school. I'll go get him back."

When Matthew left...

"Did I just hear someone talk?" the American scratched his head.

Just right outside their doorstep, Mathhew bumped into a crying Lovino.

"Lovino? What's wrong?"

The Italian just gazed helplessly at him, his lips shaking but no sound came out. His tears flowing nonstop.

"Alfred! I brought Lovino with me! Give him something to drink! I'm still going back to school!"

When Matthew left...

"I really think I heard someone say something- huh! Lovino! Why are you here? How did you come here?"

Back to Matthew... He heard unfamiliar voices near the building. They seem to be having a heated argument.

"And you didn't even follow him? Jeez, Antonio, how slow can you get!"

Matthew peeked to see two guys. One is white haired and pale with his back facing the Canadian while the other, he recognized as Lovino's boyfriend, Antonio.

"But, Gil... I don't even understand why he is so angry...

"Why? Why he's angry? You have a date tomorrow, remember?"

"But I want him to enjoy his school life as much as he can..."

"Antonio. It's not always like that! For fuck's sake, it's Valentines tomorrow, everyone would rather be with their lovers than their school friends! Even Bella and Jeanne would take a leave than join our stupid party at the hospital!"

"But... I was thinking that it would be the best for him..."

"Ahh... So now you are thinking of what's the best for him. Can you tell me what you are to Lovino? Are you his father or older brother?"

"What do you mean? Aren't we lovers?"

"Well, act like a fucking one! The way you are treating him... As far as I can see, you're acting more like a father than a lover to him."

"But... It can't be helped. We are 12 years apart... I... I don't want him to grow up too fast for me."

"You-are-an-unawesome-idiot. Those 12 years? As long as you make a big deal about it, then you'll always have a problem. Geez, Antonio, you've been dating him for almost three years already, surely, you realize that those 12 years will always be there? You were supposed to accept that fact the moment you started dating. Don't use that as a lame excuse to keep yourself from him now! We know you want him, we know he wants you. Why are you making things so difficult?"

Antonio awkwardly scratched his head.

"Act more selfish sometimes."

.::.

Antonio left shortly after that, leaving a still annoyed Gilbert behind. The Spaniard called him almost crying a while ago, and then all he'd hear was that unawesome stupidity of his? He'd been friends with the Spaniard for years but he still couldn't get used to his slowness.

"Uhm... Mister?"

"Eeekkk!"

A pale bespectacled blonde boy approached him.

"Are you the friend of Lovino's boyfriend?"

"Uhm... Yeah," the Prussian answered uneasily.

"Uhmmm... I'm sorry if I heard you..."

"It's okay. I wasn't being quiet anyway."

"Then... Uhm... I don't know if Mr. Antonio knows but everyone is welcome to attend our event tomorrow..."

"What you're trying to say is...?"

Matthew gazed hintedly at the Prussian.

"Are you asking me out?" Gilbert asked, blushingly.

The Canadian facepalmed.

"What! No? Geez! I'm sorry for misunderstanding!" he blushes further.

Now Matthew felt a bit guilty.

"No... It's alright. You can think of it that way but... I'm hoping you'll bring Antonio with you."

"Ah? Ahhh!" realization struck the albino. "AHAHAHA! Now I get it... Yeah, sure... So... What's your name?"

Matthew suddenly felt embarrassed in a way. "Ma-Matthew..."

.::.

Gilbert walked Matthew home 'since it was getting dark.' He then left instantly. The quiet Canadian watched the man's retreating back until he disappeared in a corner.

"Oh no. I forgot Kumagichi again."

Matthew entered the house and found Arthur and Alfred fussing over their Italian visitor.

"So, what really happened?" Arthur asked.

The Italian just shakes his head helplessly and refused to speak.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day that Lovino isn't cursing at me," Alfred commented. The Brit shot him an irritated look.

"Bloody hell, if you're not going to help then don't add to the problem, Alfred F. Jones!"

"Lovino... You'll come to school tomorrow, right?" Matthew said in. A small voice.

"What?" asked Alfred and Arthur simultaneously. The Canadian ignored them.

"I guess you should," Matthew pressed on. "I think it woul be better than alone."

"Y-Yeah. He asked me to so..." Lovino murmured. He suddenly stood up.

"Thank you for everything today."

And he left just like that. When their guest had left, Alfred and Arthur rounded on the Canadian.

"Spill the beans. Everything."

.::.

February 14.

Lovino had never felt so dead. Sure, he came to school and all but it's like he wasn't there at all. He was awfully quiet, a baf contrast to the festive atmosphere in the area. He was jailed thrice and asked for marriage twice but he remembers none of it. All his mind is full of painful thoughts.

Does he really love me?

Am I not enough for him?

Am I the only one who wants to be together?

He wouldn't get answers and the questions will just increase.

Is he tired of me already?

Am I just a child to him?

Is he angry that I got angry with him, like a unlawful child?

It was so frustrating. To think that less than two days ago, he was very happy about that incident in the balcony.

But he didn't kiss you that time either.

But he told me he loves me!

He heard a scornful laugh inside his head.

Words are easy to say my dear. Words can always be empty.

.::.

Meanwhile in the booths.

"He is really lonely..."

"Veee... He didn't even notice me and Luddy together..."

"That's fortunate though I suggest you don't test him."

"Okay. I guess we have to be far away..."

"Can't he just y'know, forget it already?"

"Not everyone is as dense as you, git."

"Where's Mattie, by the way?"

"He said he is going to meet someone."

"And Kiku?"

"He said he is going to Lovino."

"Uhm, what for?"

"I have no idea."

.::.

While Feliciano and Ludwig are in the canteen, Gil and Antonio entered.

"Bruder... What are you doing here?"

"Yo West! Your awesome brother brought he's not equally awesome friend here!"

"Uhm... Why are we here, Gil?" the brunette asked warily. The Prussian just decided to attend temhe event as soon as they got out of the hospital and dragged Antonio with him. Which is kind of irritating since he was still planning to apologize to Lovino.

"Just follow me, Toni!"

"Veee~" Feliciano suddenly sneaked up to the Spaniard.

"Ahh..." Antonio stopped abruptly. "Hello, Feli... Is... Is Lovino around?"

The little Italian just smiled at him.

"Ve, big brother Antonio. Be thankful that Nonno wasn't at home yesterday when fratello went home."

The Spaniard shuddered.

"I'm sorry!" Matthew suddenly arrived at the scene, panting. "I got help up..."

"It's okay! We just arrived!" Gilbert assured the blonde.

"I want you to come with me..."

"Right. Come on Toni!"

But Antonio was still traumatized by Feli's words.

"Geez!" Gilbert dragged him as usual.

.::.

In his lifeless state, it took a while for Lovino to realize that he was abducted by his Japanese classmate and was placed inside a dark room. W-What's his problem?

"Ahh no."

Lovino's ears perked up (if it was possible) when he heard an amazingly familiar Spanish accent.

"Antonio it's just one try, come on..!" ah... And that loudness was Gilbert. But what the hell are they doing here?

"But I really don't want to..."

"Just try it! We're here anyways, why not enjoy?"

Lovino heard scrambling and approaching steps to his hiding place.

"You just have to knock..." Now that's Matthew just now! What the hell is going on? "And remove the veil..."

"Like this?"

Lovino heard someone knocking on the supposed to be window of his dark room.

"Open it, Lovino-san..."

"Chigi!"

All of a sudden, the Italian spotted Kiku in his best camouflage clothes inside the room as well.

"You fucking surprised me!"

"Gomen... But please don't keep the customer waiting."

"Customer?"

Lovino opened the window and saw Antonio facing him. But he realized that his face might have been covered by an almost see through fabric in some way with just his lower face exposed. What the fuck, Kiku?

"Do it, Toni!" Gilbert cheered.

The Spaniard leaned in to the Italian. W-W-Wha-?

"Hey... I just want to humor that guy so... Whoever you are, let's just make it a quick brush okay?" Antonio whispered.

A quick brush.

And he doesn't know it was Lovino.

What. The. Hell?

SMACK! Lovino punched Antonio.

"Wha-?"

"How... How dare you? How could you? How?"

Lovino removed the cover on his face and Antonio was dumbfounded to see that it was him.

"Y-You... You wouldn't kiss me... B-But you'd go for a kissing booth? Y-You're a jerk..." Lovino whispered.

"Lovi- I didn't know... I'm sorry!"

"You didn't know? So you're really okay as long as it wasn't me?"

"No... It's not like that-"

Seeing Antonio's face, all the questions, all the anxieties that Lovino has bottled up came rushing out of his mouth before he could stop them. Even his tears fell down like waterfalls.

"Then what? What is it? Explain to me! I'm already tired of trying to answer my own questions about why won't you kiss me, why won't you spend this day with me!"

Antonio was speechless. He doesn't know why... But Lovino's crying face was all he could see. He looked so hurt... And it was all his fault.

"I'm so sorry..."

Realizing that the Spaniard has no explanation for him, the Italian kicked open the door on the booth and marched away, leaving an injured and broken Antonio behind.

"T-Toni, we're sorry..." Gil went to his fallen friend and quickly apologized.

Antonio knew that his friend meant well, but it does not erase the fact that he was at fault. But really... It couldn't have had happened if he didn't refuse Lovino... If they were happily together in the cafe or at his house... If only... If only he'd become a bit more selfish like Gilbert had said.

But... It's too late now. Lovino's already hurt... And he thought that he was doing what's the best for him...

What is he supposed to do now?

.::.

Cliffhanger. Because I can. Hahaha. PruCan has grown on me somehow... So I wish none of you hates the pairing.


	9. Opposite Directions

Opposite Directions 1

(Note: There's this Lovino & friends thingy that I like to do in school AUs. I know Lovino is usually considered as an unsociable guy but I don't think Feliciano is stupid enough to leave his brother alone while making friends on his own. Besides, I usually make Arthur, Alfred and Matthew as brothers so since Lovino and Matthew are friends, there adds their brothers in the gang. I hope you all don't mind)

(more than 3000 words again yay)

Some people say that when you are in love, the furthest you can be with each other is when you are right beside one another yet you are gazing at opposite directions.

The truth is, you were never far away... You just didn't share your point of views that's why you naively believe that you are in different worlds. However, no matter how trivial, no matter how small of a misunderstanding it seems, when you fail to notice it on time, it will eventually grow to something bigger and more painful...

When is it worth it to continue fighting for love?

.::.

Lovino woke up, groggily wishing that yesterday's events were all just in his dream. He didn't punch Antonio, didn't scream at him, didn't walk off after that and didn't have the potato bastard carry him home because he felt asleep crying on Feliciano's chest.

"Fratello!" he heard Feliciano gasp and realized that the younger Italian was sitting beside his bed, holding his hand and probably watched him sleep like some sort of a sick person. He felt kind of touched, really as he saw dark circles below his brother's ever closed eyes, telling Lovino that he haven't slept last night. "What really happened?"

Ah. That's right. He had been too preoccupied with crying yesterday that Feliciano hadn't the slightest idea as to why his elder brother seemed to be so eager to cry his eyes out. Speaking of which, his eyelids feel so sore right now.

So why was he really crying?

Thoughts suddenly flooded his still weak mind, which eventually caused him to tear up again.

"Oh no! No! Fratello, I'm sorry! I won't ask again!" Feliciano cried in panic as Lovino's tears cascaded down like waterfalls. Well, tiny waterfalls, at least.

"N-No..." Lovino murmured shakily. He knows too well that Feliciano has to know...

.::.

"I'm sorry," Matthew finally said, his voice cracking after he had told his audience the story for almost fifteen minutes. It was even weird to have persons listening eagerly to him when he was invisible most of the time.

They were at the Vargas living room since the whole gang tailed the Italian twins after Lovino's incident. Yes, they even had a sleepover, which is alright since the Vargas mansion is big enough to accomodate them and since all of them are almost neighbors, their parents weren't so worried. And add the fact that Mr. Vargas is currently out of town so he didn't have to know.

"I really think that it's not your best idea to meddle with other persons' relationship, Matthew," Arthur scolded his step brother.

"I'm very sorry..."

"There, there Artie. Mattie meant well... It's just something went wrong," Alfred defended his twin.

"We all know he meant well but of course, something is bound to go wrong when it's meddling we are talking about," the Brit snapped.

"But no one knew that it will go wrong until it happened!" the American snapped back.

"Well there goes your critical thinking! It's not 'no one knew' but 'no one thought'!"

"But-"

"Just shut up!" Ludwig suddenly yelled at the bickering blondes. They are all cranky and lacking sleep so someone has to straight them out. Besides, Matthew was already sobbing uncontrollably on Kiku's shoulders. "Fighting over what has already happened will not correct it!"

That shut them up.

"Ludwig..." Arthur murmured. "I'm sorry. I don't know what has gone on to me..."

"Yeah, me too."

"Don't apologize to me. Your brother has been crying all the while."

And Arthur and Alfred quickly fawned over their youngest brother. But when the Canadian is finally calming down, a loud bang from the second floor revealed two screaming Italians.

"No Feliciano! Don't!"

"Don't stop me, fratello! Big brother Antonio needs to be taught a lesson!"

"Nooo! You know what Nonno can do! He'll kill him!"

"No, brother. He won't kill him quickly. He'll torture him first... Torture him so hard that he'll beg Nonno to kill him already..."

"No! Don't call Nonno!"

"But why, fratello? He hurt you!"

"It's not a big reason enough to kill him!"

"Didn't he promised Nonno he won't hurt you? Nonno said he'll kill him if he does!"

"But-!"

On the floor below, their guests are having a bad time restraining themselves from running away. 'Torture?' 'Killing?' Just what kind of person is Mr. Vargas?

"I suddenly feel sorry for you, man," Alfred solemnly whispered to Ludwig, patting his back. All of a sudden, they all felt a deep kind of respect to the Italians' boyfriends.

*Ring*

"Oh hello there my grandsons!"

"Shit!"

"Good morning to you, too, Lovi~!"

Lovino managed to snatch the phone out of Feliciano's grip and talk to Mr. Vargas.

"Yeah, hi Nonno-"

"I missed you!"

"Yeah yeah, look, we are busy. I'm hanging up, bye!"

"Eeehhh!"

*Beep*

"Eeehhh! You're so unfair fratello! I didn't even get to say 'Hi'!"

"Oh yeah? And then tell him to kill Antonio?"

"But-! Why fratello? Why are you still defending him? I thought you hate him now?"

Lovino glared at his brother.

"Look, Feliciano. I'm only saying it once so listen carefully," Lovino muttered gravely. "I think of the tomato bastard the same way as you think of the potato bastard. Now if he hurts you, and I threatened you to tell Nonno about it, I'm sure as hell you'd do the same way as I did. Capisci?"

"S-Si..."

"Good," Lovino looked away as he felt his face warm up. He walked down the stairs with his brother following closely.

"But fratello..."

"What!"

"Does that mean you have already forgiven him?" Feliciano asked timidly.

"I... I don't know," Lovino admitted.

"But if you love him, but can't forgive him, what are you gonna do now?"

The elder Italian bit his lip thoughtfully. He scanned the living room expecting the answer to suddenly pop from there and noticed some 'new decorations' adorning their sofa.

"Uhm... Good morning Lovino..."

"What the hell are you all doing here?"

.::.

"Idiot."

"Crétin."

"Mauviette."

"Imbécile."

"Stupide."

The French lovers, Francis and Jeanne were pacing around the room, apprehending a guilty Gilbert and a sullen Spaniard with a sore left cheek.

"I'm sorry," Gilbert murmured on the umpteenth time that day. He wasn't even able to sleep that night. And then in the morning, the blondes shot him dirty looks every now and then. Meanwhile Antonio looked like he lost his soul somewhere...

They were at the hospital. Luckily, there wasn't much casualties that morning and they didn't have to actually leave their post. Well, luckily for Jeanne who wasted no minute in scolding the Prussian.

"Why did you even think of trying to sort things on your own? You're not even involved, you wimp!"

"There, there... You've been raging at him for almost a long time, Jeanne, dear," Bella arrived, bringing breakfast for everyone. Gilbert stared at the Belgian as if she was an angel.

"But really, Gil. You are a freaking moron," Bella turned to the albino, her smile not faltering.

"Bella's right, Jeanne, please don't stress yourself over this. It might be bad for the baby," Francis said tenderly at his lover. The others choked on their food.

"B-Baby?" Gilbert stuttered. Antonio perked up as well.

"C-Congratulations!" Bella cheered.

"Why, thank you," Francis smiled at them.

"How many weeks?" Bella asked, still excited.

"Just four," Jeanne answered. "We just realized it yesterday so..."

"Then, then, what about the wedding?"

"I wouldn't want walk down the aisle as big as a house so we're planning to do it by next month."

"That's awesome! I'll be the godfather!" Gilbert announced.

"No, stupid. You might rub it in our baby!"

"I'll be an awesome goddaddy! Hell yeah!" Gilbert continued cheering.

"Listen to me!"

"Let him be, mon amour," Francis consoled his soon to be wife.

"So, any particular day next month?"

"S'cuse me," the Dutch suddenly arrived, holding some documents. "There was some state of calamity or something that happened in Greece and they are needing medical volunteers there so our hospital decided to send two doctors and I'm not enlisting my sister nor myself because it's too troublesome and the other staffs also said their own alibis so there's just the three of you (Jeanne, Antonio and Gilbert). It will be a month-long service and you will receive overtime pay for it."

Gilbert was first to speak up. "What kind of biased judgment is that?"

"M'kay so I'm putting Gilbert Bielschmidt here-"

"What?"

"Just one more."

"Wait I refuse-"

"Face it, Bielschmidt. You are the only one single in the three of you so it was very obvious that you can come an go and no one would be sad," the Dutch drone on.

"Hey that's insulting-"

Jeanne glanced uneasily at Antonio.

"I'll go with Gil," Antonio raised his hand.

"Sure? Your little Italian wouldn't miss you?"

Bella frowned at her brother, "I think I'll go..."

"No. I won't allow it."

"Brother!"

"It's alright Bella. Yeah, he won't miss me," the Spaniard said sadly.

"Antonie..."

"Fine. I'll enlist you two. I'll just tell you when the flight is when we get the tickets," and the poker faced guy went away. "Probably tomorrow so I suggest you pack your clothes now."

Immediately, the girls rounded on Antonio. "You're really sure about this?"

"You just can't go without fixing yourselves!"

Despite not fully knowing Lovino, the staff all knows how happy and skippy Antonio became after he started dating the boy so they are rooting for them so much.

"Jeanne's right, Antoine, leaving just like that... You'll never know if you'd still have someone to return to," Francis said gravely. That seemed to have stabbed Antonio badly.

"But after what happened... How am I supposed to face him now?" Antonio grumbled bitterly, earning sympathetic glances from his friends.

"I think... You should tell him the truth, no matter what. Whether he understands or not, it would be better than just leaving it that way," Jeanne finally said.

"Yeah... I hate to say it this way but... If it's already unfixable, the best thing you could do for Lovino and for yourself is to bring it to a close," Francis said. Bella and Jeanne gaped at him reproachfully. Francis frowned at them. "Let's face it. There's very little chance that Lovino will forgive Antoine and being his first romance and all, do you think the child will take that too well? It was one thing that he still doesn't know much about how relationships go and it is his 'quite unfortunate' luck that he happened to fall in love with someone who can't share the same ideals as him."

"Francis!" Jeanne said breathlessly.

"It's alright," Antonio raised his palm to stop Jeanne from verbally attacking her boyfriend. "Francis is right. I don't know if there's still something to fix so..."

He fixed his things.

"I'm going to check."

"Wait Toni! I'm also leaving!" Gilbert made a chase to his friend.

When the Spaniard and Prussian are out of plain site, Jeanne let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and glared at Francis. "I really don't like it."

"What, dear?" Francis asked.

"I don't like that what you said was the best assumption to have right now," French lady said bitterly. "It's been almost three years..."

"There there, mon amour," Francis wiped the tear that was attempting to fall from his lover's eye. "Whatever happens is all for the better."

Bella was silent all the while.

.::.

"Toni... I'm really very sorry," Gilbert apologized once again. They are now walking briskly out of the hospital. Like Bella's brother said, they need to pack up already.

"No... It's alright. I've been thinking about what happened all night. We were already on a tightrope the day before..." Antonio admitted.

"But we worsened it..."

"There's no point lingering on the past. We cannot change it anyways," the Spaniard said dismissively. He still don't like the idea of talking.

They reached the parking lot. Antonio usually don't bring his car. This is one o those days.

"Hey, wanna hitch or something?" Gil asked awkwardly. His conscience really makes him want to do something for te Spaniard.

"Nnnn..." Antonio hummed thoughtfully. "No... No thanks. My house is on the other side as yours."

"It's alright-!"

"No, it's alright. I... I'm going to Lovino."

"Oh..." the Prussian drooped. "Okay... Uhm... Good luck."

"Yeah, thanks."

When they separated ways, Gilbert thought if his 'good luck' sounded more sincere than desperate. He hoped Antonio didn't mind if it was the latter.

"Hey! Toni!"

For one last time, Antonio faced the Prussian.

"I... I think what Francis said is bullshit. Lovino got angry because he loves you. And... He really isn't as immature or naive as Francis thinks..."

.::.

Since Antonio heard from Francis that it was a school holiday that day (the school was kind enough to let the students rest after the event yesterday) he decided to invade the Vargas household, though he wanted to at least wear a bullet proof best first, in case that Mr. Vargas decided to assassinate whoever Spaniard with a name that starts with An and ends with tonio who wants to approach his elder grandson. But then he realized that a bullet proof vest wouldn't be useful if the target was his head. Besides... He doesn't own a bullet proof vest.

So... With his heart trying it's best to escape his chest, he forced his feet to bring himself to the familiar household. He remembered his last trip there, how he was very much anticipating to see his little Italian. How he was mistaken for a robber, and how he sneaked to the balcony like Romeo did for Juliet. He is a sappy bastard, alright.

Right now, he isn't so sure if he is happy to walk this road again, though he for sure wouldn't miss any chance to see Lovino once more. Yes, even if it costs his life. Maybe... Lovino will forgive him if he is just about to die...

"Yeah yeah, I get it."

Antonio stopped abruptly from his tracks. He cannot mistake that voice anywhere. He first hid behind a post and scanned the area. Sure enough, he found the Italian outside their gates with his friends.

"You sure you're going to be alright?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah, you don't have to worry."

"If you ever get into trouble, don't hesitate to call the Hero!"

"I would definitely hesitate but thanks for the offer."

"Lovino, I'm really very sorry."

Antonio saw Lovino stare blankly at the almost invisible blonde. He looked so familiar though Antonio can't remember when or where he saw him... Wait... Isn't he Gil's friend?

"No. It's alright..."

"But-"

"I said it's okay. You were just worried about me and I... I really appreciate it."

Looking at Lovino and how he faced the problem, Antonio wonders, who really is the child between the two of them? Him who couldn't even look Gilbert in the eye for what happened? Or Lovino who readily accepts his friend's mistake?

He really isn't immature or naive as Francis thinks.

He should know right? He saw him grow from that bored fifteen year old to this smiling, this lively young man.

Maybe, he shouldn't be too nervous to finally talk to him.

Maybe, he could hope for a bit more.

.::.

Lovino watched as his friends disappear from the corner (yes, add that potato bastard to that list of friends, dammit). He felt so touched and grateful at them, really. And Mattie... He meant well. The Italian has been thinking of what has happened. Yes, he was so angry, so hurt. But like Feliciano had pointed out, he still loves Antonio. And if someone will ask him if he still wishes to see te Spaniard, the answer is yes. He wants to see Antonio, his boyfriend, he wants to hear his part no matter what. Because Lovino is so sure that it's valid. But he can't be sure that Antonio's face won't remind him of the yesterday's events as well as the anger and disappointment. To the point where he wants to strangle that bastard and make sure that he punch the other side of his face as well.

What a difficult dilemma.

Lovino just shrugged inwardly and turned to enter the gates. It's not like Antonio would suddenly show up all of a sudden, right? He decided to go check on his brother. Feliciano decided to cook pasta right after breakfast and he might be drowning in the noodles right now. Something about cheering up rituals whatsoever.

"Lovino..." he heard a familiar whisper as he closes the gate behind him.

No. It can't be. He grasped the gate knob, but didn't make a move to open the gate. If it was Antonio, he can't promise he won't turn emotional again.

"Mi amor..."

"W-What do you want?" the words escaped his lips coldly. Antonio winced at the wariness in the Italian's voice.

"I wanna say that... I love you."

Corny, sappy, stupid, cheesy bastard. What is Lovino supposed to say to that? Sly bastard.

"I didn't kiss you because... I was afraid. Even though I told Gilbert that I do that because I think it was the best for you, the truth is... It was just my fear that if I kissed you... I won't just stop with a simple kiss. I'd want to do more. I'd want to do inappropriate things to you. And the last thing I want is for you to hate me because of that..."

"..."

"The truth is... I don't regret refusing you. Yes, I regret that stupid blunder yesterday. But I'll never regret protecting you from me."

"..."

"Siempre, te amo."

Antonio left right after that. He had done his part.

.::.

It took a long while before Lovino actually made a move. He was just quietly crying at the Spaniard's words. Silently crying as things become clearer one by one. Seeing the situation as Antonio sees it, and finally, looking at things on the same direction...

"Antonio..." he whispered.

"Antonio...!" he sobbed.

"Antonio."

At last, Lovino swung the Gate open, his chest heaving at the chokes that escapes his chest uncontrollably.

"Antonio!"

But Antonio was already gone.

TBC

Alright. So I said before that this arc is supposed to be a two or three-shot but this is the fourth installment so far. I'm such a liar... I'm so sorry. Maybe I'm taking things too slow while I'm updating later and later than usual. Please, blame my still broken monitor. I'm still using my phone for my fics so there's those typos and no-text formats as well. And then some ideas add up making me rethink of the whole arc plot so I just decided to add still another arc after this. This arc will be finished by the next update by the way, which is hopefully on Tuesday or earlier. I hope you're not getting tired of this.


	10. The House on the Other Side END

The House on the Other Side

Late upload is late. The author is very sorry. (hides)

I promised that I'll take requests of the reviewers for the chapter last week. Miss Maximilia Evergreen's prompt was a fic featuring the red-string of fate myth which resulted to the oneshot "Red Thread." If you have time... please read it ^^ (Shameless plugging accomplished!)

For the other two awesome reviewers, Lovi's Tomato Lover and Gir'sdoomsongofdoom, (thanks to both of your advice about the cat bite by the way) I've sent you PMs about the requests ^^ aaand as I've said in there, you can ask for fanarts (you can check them at this DA: shisheilarie . deviantart . com ) or send me fic prompts. Thank you so much!

Some of you might think that I am a snobbish person... Because I only just realized that most authors reply to reviews and/or alerts and/or faves... I'm really sorry for not doing so before. I swear I wasn't trying to act so stuck-up... I was just very ignorant... Please forgive me. Those reviews, alerts and faves really make me feel so blissful inside... I can't even thank you all enough. (bows deeply and repeatedly)

This chapter has some shifting POVs and timeskips... (because I thought it would make this look more dramatic) I hope you won't find them too confusing...

Whooping 4500+ words. Haven't written something this long for a while.

Enough of my rant.

.::.

(Feliciano's POV)

It has been a month since Antonio's departure. To Lovino, it was one whole month of not seeing Antonio again. And no matter how the Italian tries to act as natural as possible, Feliciano couldn't help but notice the dullness in his brother's eyes. Those fleeting moments when the grumpier brunette would just stop and stare blankly into space when he thinks no one was looking...

That silent suffering alone... Feliciano hates the fact that he can't do anything about it.

Of course, he's still not allowed to tell their Nonno about Antonio's sudden disappearance from their lives... It's so annoying. Can't he just blabber about it once and for all and have Mr. Vargas send his troops to Greece and literally drag the Spaniard back to where he belongs? To where Lovino is? Apparently, his brother has a different opinion. Whenever the issue is put up, the elder Italian brother would tell Feliciano not to fuck up their supposed to be secret.

It's so hard lying to their Nonno about it.

For one, their birthdays are coming and since it is also a coming of age for Lovino, their Nonno decided to make it something big, much to the elder grandson's dismay. No, Lovino does not need extravagant celebrations inviting those 'big' persons he doesn't really know. Lovino wants to spend the day with his 'actual' friends... But then the topic about a certain Spaniard was brought up.

"He's definitely coming, isn't he?" Mr. Vargas asked threateningly. Yes, because he could. "He's definitely be on your special day or else I'll gladly get someone else, someone better for you."

With that remark, Feliciano got quite sure that their Nonno is already suspecting something... That or he really is still wary of the Spaniard and still wants to find a reason to cut him off Lovino. Surprisingly though, Lovino agreed with Mr. Vargas for once.

"He'll come. He'll definitely come."

From where that confidence came from, Feliciano has no idea. As far as he knows and remembers, some time ago last month, his brother fell asleep crying in his chest and he also did so the next day. Though it stopped after that, only to be replaced by those staring into space incidents. Well maybe, Lovino is being a good actor just so Mr. Vargas won't be gathering his crew this very moment. Yeah, that must be it.

But Feliciano can't help but wonder... What if big brother Antonio never comes?

What will Lovino tell Nonno?

What will Lovino do?

.::.

March 16 Night.

Feliciano sneaked in Lovino's bed.

"Fra-tel-lo," Feliciano whispered for the third time already that night. He knows Lovino is not yet asleep, he just wrapped himself in a blanket but the younger Italian could see a cellphone's backlight shining through the fabric.

Tomorrow is their birthday (Feliciano, 17. Lovino, 18) and Mr. Vargas went on with his plan of inviting a bunch of 'important' guests for them. Feliciano didn't mind as much as Lovino, after all, he wouldn't be the 'star' of the next day's celebration but he also considers a simple friends' outing as a better choice. But what troubles him the most is that there is actually an opening dance number for the birthday celebrants... And it's not just a simple dance number but a very exquisite and passionate ballroom dance number. They aren't latinos for nothing, their Nonno definitely knows what the word 'romantic' mean.

When the old man first voiced out this plan a week ago, Feliciano couldn't help but protest.

"That's very out of character of you, my boy," Mr. Vargas raised his eyebrows at him. "I was expecting Lovino to be the one to object, really."

It was his thought as well but seeing that his brother doesn't seem a bit fazed, he has to be the one to do something.

"What's your complains, Feli? You would be dancing with Ludwig."

"But what about fratello?"

"Well he could do with that doctor if he wants to. It's his day, I can't really complain."

It must have been because Lovino just really hates any other guy but his supposed to be boyfriend (Feliciano still doesn't know if they are still together like this) that he really holds firm to making Mr. Vargas believe that big brother Antonio would come. They were practicing the dance piece for days but the Spaniard wasn't even showing up... And now that the big day is tomorrow, the younger Italian can't hold his anxiety anymore.

"Fratello!" he called once again, louder and more urgent this time. Lovino stopped ignoring him at last.

"What the fuck do you want?" Lovino hissed, finally uncovering himself with the blanket.

"I decided to ask Ludwig-"

"I'm not interested about what you want to ask the potato bastard."

"But it's very important, fratello!"

"I don't consider any of the potato bastard's crap as 'very important.'"

"Please don't be mean to Ludwig fratello... And listen!"

"Tsk," Lovino merely clicked his tongue. Feliciano took it as a go signal.

"About the opening dance, fratello, I think it would be better that we dance with each other," the younger suggested.

"Why? I thought you were so excited to dance with that macho potato...?"

"Eeehhh... I don't want to sound mean but... If big brother Antonio doesn't come, wouldn't it be weird if only Luddy and I would be dancing?"

"You know what Feliciano? I wasn't planning on embarrassing myself at all," the elder scoffed.

"Huuuhhh? So you really wasn't planning to dance in the first place?"

Lovino gaped at Feliciano as if he was a very boring fungi growing on a random sock.

"Veee! I'm just worried about you fratello..." the younger Italian admitted. His elder brother blushed at that remark.

"Y-You don't have to worry about me, silly..."

"But..."

"I'm okay... Really," Lovino awkwardly wrapped his arm around his younger brother and rubbed circles on his back. "Now sleep. We'll need energy tomorrow."

Whatever anxiety Feliciano was holding has left him as he felt secure inside his brother's embrace.

.::.

(Matthew's POV)

March 17.

"Alfred, Arthur," Matthew called. "Aren't you done yet?"

"In a moment Mattie. This git can't do anything by himself," the Canadian heard Arthur respond from his shared room with the American.

"What'ya talkin' Artie? I definitely dressed myself nicely before you stripped me!" Alfred complained irritatedly. They just went out of the room, now both sporting smart looking tux.

"Nice? You call that... That horrendous outfit 'nice'?"

"That's just my sense of style!" the taller blonde snarled, obviously referring to his jackets and rubber shoes... Speaking of rubber shoes, no, Alfred F. Jones refused to change his sneakers despite wearing a sleek suit. It doesn't look half bad, in fairness.

"Your so-called sense of style, for your information, is not appropriate for the party we are supposed to attend! You'll look ridiculous! You'll stand out silly!" the shorted snapped just as heated.

"Well, it doesn't matter! Since I am the hero, I think I need to stand out!" Alfred childishly whined. "This tie is really tight!"

"Aaarrrgghhh! I'm tired if fixing that whenever you loosen that up!"

"You don't have to 'fix' it anymore!" and with that, the American ceremonially removed his tie around his neck. He even unbuttoned the upper part of his long sleeve polo, revealing a black tee beneath.

"Y-You bloody wanker!" the Brit stared at Alfred in disbelief, and two seconds later, he stormed out the house sulking. He refused to acknowledge the American all afternoon as they walked to the Italian's house.

Now, Matthew is used to be the middleman while his brothers are clashing, so this silent treatment is a nice change for the Canadian. Now, he can contemplate in peace as they walk inside the Vargas household.

Like Feliciano, Matthew also feels nervous about Lovino's well-being in the upcoming party. Since last month, it seems that none of them has heard of Antonio again. In his case, even Gilbert is out of reach... Not that he needs to contact Gilbert! It's just that the albino is the closest person to 'spy' the Spaniard for him to tell Lovino. But just like the Italian's boyfriend, he also just disappeared from the picture.

Though... He suddenly received a mail from the Prussian last night.

It was just a simple good night greeting, okay? Don't think too much about it! Am I clear to you? Good.

And Matthew isn't getting too caught up by that.

Anyway...

He haven't contacted Gilbert though. It has been a month after all so just suddenly hearing from him doesn't make Matthew want to contact him at once. Nope. Not at all. Okay, maybe just a bit since the Canadian wants to hear about Antonio. Though still, he didn't mailed Gilbert back. He doesn't want to sound too desperate.

So he will just text the albino right now!

"Who are you texting, Mattie?"

Great. Now that Arthur isn't fussing over Alfred, his loud brother decided to bother him instead. Where is you invisibility power when you need it the most?

"Please, Alfred, mind your own business," was all Matthew could murmur. No matter how tough sounding he wants to be, he always end up requesting and pleading.

"Who's that 'Birdie'?"

"It doesn't concern you..."

"What's with that nickname?"

"Please Alfred, I need some privacy..."

"So... Who's that guy who nicknamed you 'Birdie' whom you need privacy when texting?" the American obnoxiously pressed on, obviously not listening to any of Matthew's plea. Damn selective hearing skills.

"Arthur, help me!"

The Brit frowned a bit before saying, "You bloody git, stop harassing your brother!" And Alfred happily skipped to the shorter blonde, finally gaining his attention.

The Canadian sighed in relief and continued his private messaging in peace...

*Beep*

"Ladies and gentlemen," Mr. Vargas greeted from the microphone. "We will now proceed to the opening dance."

"Huh?" Matthew gasped softly at Gilbert's reply.

.::.

(Feliciano's POV)

Feliciano and Lovino suddenly appeared from their mansion's lobby and started walking to the center of the dancefloor in time with the intro music. There, waiting was Ludwig who seemed to be glancing at the gates every once in a while as the Italian brothers approach him. In no time, Feliciano has positioned hinself and Ludwig while Lovino stood alone. The guests murmured to each other about this irregularity.

On the first note of the dance routine, Feliciano glanced worriedly at his brother before getting steered by Ludwig into the dance. Lovino was standing still. The whispers grew louder. The younger Italian wished for the time to stop just this once...

But he didn't get his wish. The crowd continued to get reckless, Mr. Vargas was rubbing his chin dangerously, Matthew was seen crouching down the table, frantically speaking on the phone. The song went on with no hint of a brunette with green eyes.

"Ludwig..." Feliciano whispered through their dance.

"It will be alright, Feli..."

"But..."

"Lovino will be fine. He's not even faltering a bit. We shouldn't as well."

"But still..."

The German blonde held Feliciano close.

"Your brother is doing his best to be strong in this situation. We should also be strong for him."

Feliciano gazed gratefully at his boyfriend. Ludwig glanced at the gate one last time.

.::.

(third person POV)

"Fucking hell," Mr. Vargas hissed angrily, grimacing as he watched his elder son in that shameful situation. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him..."

"Please restrain yourself," the butler reminded. "Your blood pressure..."

"I don't give a damn at my blood pressure! I'm going to kill that Spanish bastard-"

Mr. Vargas stormed out of his seat to go to Lovino when the gate suddenly opened.

.::.

(Lovino's POV)

"Lovino..." a raspy, short-of-breath-ish voice said.

The Italian suddenly perked up at the sound of that voice coming from the gate. Even without looking, he knows that voice too well, craves for it even. As tears fall down his eyes, Lovino did not hesitate one bit and made a run to the Spaniard.

His Spaniard.

.::.

(Antonio's POV)

(One month ago, at the same gate)

"Siempre, te amo."

With him finally finished saying his part, Antonio walked away from the Vargas residence. He still doesn't think he deserves to see and be seen by Lovino so he immediately took off. However, as he turns in a corner, his cellphone beeped. He paused his tracks.

Fr: The Annoying Dutch

Sub: Plane ticket

Message: Seems like your

flying late this afternoon.

Return to the hospital ASAP.

It was such a good decision to leave. That way, he could stray his thoughts away from Lovino more easily. And this one month, once it's done, then hopefully, he will be forgiven already. But he won't expect that much. After all, Lovino has all the rights to hate him as much as he wants for as long as he likes now.

"Antonio!"

The Spaniard flinched at the call.

"You bastard!" the Italian gasped for air.

All of a sudden, he felt weight shot to his back and lanky arms wrapped around his stomach. Lovino buried his face deep on the Spaniard's back and let out a sob.

"Did you... Did you mean all of that?" the Italian choked.

All of that? Those words...

"Of course... I meant everything."

"I'm sorry," Lovino said.

"No! I should be the one sorry! You did nothing wrong!" Why? Why is Lovino stooping too low for someone like him? A stupid bastard such as him?

"Ti amo..." the younger admitted. "Ti amo!"

The Spaniard felt tears trail down his cheeks. He doesn't deserve this... He doesn't deserve any of this... He made a gesture to get out of Lovino's embrace but the Italian just held on tighter.

"Don't leave me..."

"I'm not going anywhere," yet, he added to himself. "I want to look at your face right now. I've missed you so much."

"N-No... I don't look any good right now..."

"You are always beautiful, mi amor..."

"NO!" Lovino snapped. "I... If I see your face right now, I'd want to kiss you. B-But... No puedo."

The Spaniard felt a sudden pang of longing at those words. Is that how Lovino always felt whenever he avoids his advances?

"I... I'm going to Greece for a month."

Lovino did not speak, but Antonio knows he was shocked. So he continues...

"I'll be back after exactly a month so... If ever, if ever you still feel the same for me... Then... Besame. On that day, that is."

They stayed in that position until the Italian finally let go. When he was freed, Antonio only walked forward... He so wanted to look back but, he held firm to the fact that he'll be seeing Lovino's face again after a month.

His eighteenth birthday to be exact.

.::.

(Lovino's POV)

March 16 night

Damn stupid birthday parties... All Lovino wants is a certain Spaniard! Not those 'important persons' that his grandfather was talking about. But lo and behold, Nonno wants it big and special for his day. Special my crap. He doesn't want to be the center of attention of any person, it's not in his character. If anyone should be the star of any celebration, it should be Feliciano, not him. Speakingof Feliciano...

"Fra-tel-lo..."

Why did he sneak up in Lovino's bed? He has his own bed! Lovino needs the whole be to himself! He decided to ignore his idiot brother. Maybe he'd give up and leave... But then he receive a text message.

Fr: Matthew

Sub: Gil texted

Message: Gil said they've

landed. I think they could come

tomorrow. They knew about the

party, right?

A sudden flashback hit the Italian. That afternoon, the potato sucker told him that he'll fetch his brother from the airport and asked if he should be the one to invite them at the party. That was the first time that Lovino acknowledged Ludwig as a bit of a nice person like Feliciano says.

He tapped a reply to the Canadian, inwardly celebrating that his present seem to have arrived early. Antonio's finally back.

"Fratello!"

Feeling a bit in a good mood, Lovino finally stopped ignoring his brother...

"What the fuck do you want?"

.::.

(Gilbert's POV)

March 17

"Bruder, I'm going now," Ludwig told his brother who seemed to be having trouble on where to put his pet chick.

"Yeah, yeah, okay West. I guess I'll go get Toni as well," Gilbert said as he gives up on making Gilbird hide on the top of his head. His cellphone suddenly beeped and he couldn't help but smile at the mailer's name.

Fr: Birdie

Sub: The party

Message: Are you coming

to Lovino and Feli's party?

.

.

.

I've missed you.

"Well then, remember you only have thirty minutes to spare. Please hurry up," the younger reminded.

"Yeah. Don't worry. We told him to prepare thirty minutes ago, rememeber?"

"Yeah but-"

"Go on, go now and don't worry about us. Feli must want to see you so badly already," the Prussian teased, making his bruderlein blush pink.

The two of them drove to the Italian household, Gilbert taking a detour to Antonio's first. He let his brother take the car since from the Spaniard's mansion to the Vargases is a mere walking distance.

"Yo, Toni! Open up! The awesome is here!"

Gilbert should have known that the Spaniard had slept in.

(thirty minutes later)

"Gil, where are you now?" Matthew asked from the phone, his voice panicking. Judging from the background music, the dance has started.

"We got held up! Toni unawesomely fell asleep! We're running now!"

"Please hurry up... Lovino's (static)"

"Lovino's what!" Gilbert asked back.

"Lovino's what?" Antonio was suddenly alerted at the remark. His pace suddenly increased. When the albino finally managed to catch up, Antonio was already opening the gate.

"Lovino..." the Spaniard said, panting.

.::.

(third person POV)

Lovino shakily approached the Spaniard, as if disbelieving. Antonio couldn't help but let out a reassuring smile at his Italian. Tears stained the younger brunette's face but he also smiled as he broke into a run to Antonio.

Antonio spread his arms wide and caught Lovino when he jumped onto his arms.

"You're here..." the Italian said as he embraced Antonio.

"Yeah..." the Spaniard patted the Lovino's back. But the Italian quickly withdrew himself to look at Antonio in the face.

"You're here!" Lovino held Antonio's face in his hands, and made a teary smile.

"If you still feel the same way as now... Then... Besame," the Spaniard had said month ago.

Lovino captured Antonio's lips on his own...

It was a chaste kiss. Which was understandable since the one who initiated it was still inexperienced. But the Spaniard isn't satisfied. He had been restraining himslef for years! He hadn't even seen Lovino for a month! No, this is nowhere near enough.

Just as Lovino started pulling away from Antonio, the Spaniard immediately and hungrily pushed his lips once more on the Italian's while pressing his body closer against his own. The younger whimpered in surprise, and the elder brunette took no time to deepen their kiss as Lovino unknowingly made a better access for the Spaniard. The Italian's hands found their way to Antonio's curls, holding them for dear life as a foreign but not at all unpleasant feeling overwhelmed him when he tried to respond to the Spaniard's skilled tongue with his own.

It was... an amazing feeling.

When finally, the kiss ended (they needed to breathe, too bad), they realized how red each other's face had become and how puffy and red their lips are now. But all of these doesn't matter as a better realization filled them.

Antonio's back. Lovino still loves Antonio.

"Te amo..."

"Ti amp troppo."

Both broke into a smile at the same time, which turned into laughter - a laughter of relief and laughter full of their love.

None of them seem to have realized that they are now the center of attention of the shocked crowd. The music has long stopped.

Well, not until Mr. Vargas coughed loudly.

"You have many explaining to do, Mr. Antonio," the elder Vargas said dangerously.

Lovino disentangled his limbs from Antonio and scowled at his grandfather. He then took Antonio's hand in his and whispered...

"Let's run."

"I think that is a good idea, mi amor."

.::.

"Those two are really craving for each other," Gilbert commented as the crowd watched the reunited lovers run hand in hand from Mr. Vargas's wrath. Though the elder Italian didn't made an attempt to follow though. He merely mentioned that one can only be a youth once. Feliciano was crying tears of joy on Ludwig's chest for a while now. Alfred was cheering loudly something that sounded like, "That's like some Hollywood chick flick!" Arthur was trying to quiet Alfred down but smiling nonetheless. The other visitors were dumbfounded or as happy as Alfred about the situation.

"G-Gil!" Matthew gasped at the sudden appearance of the albino from behind him. The Prussian grinned at the pale blonde.

"Yo," he said.

Matthew blushed. He didn't realize that the seeing the albino again would be two times as embarrassing as just talking on the phone? Speaking of talking on the phone... Why did he even texted something shameless as 'I've missed you?' The Canadian never wanted to slap himself so bad as now.

"Hey... Are you alright, Birdie?" Gilbert was shocked to see Matthew suddenly cry.

Meanwhile, Alfred was alerted at the familiar nickname. He tried to glance back but Arthur pulled his face away from Matthew and Gilbert.

"Don't disturb them," Arthur whispered, not looking at the American. Alfred merely shrugged but then he put one of his arms on the Brit's shoulder pulling him close.

"I guess it's just the two of us now, huh?"

"Oh, do shut up," Arthur hissed though he made no sign of not liking their sudden intimate closeness.

Back to Matthew and Gilbert...

"Why are you crying?" the Prussian asked increduously. He so wanted to wrap an arm around the Canadian but his reasoning was against it. But then Matthew suddenly tackled Gilbert in a hug.

"I thought I'd never see you again... You didn't even say goodbye before!"

(A/N: Matthew and Gilbert became close during their planning stage to set Antonio and Lovino up last Valentines... They also comforted each other when the plan backfired)

"Uhhhh," Gilbert was shocked at the sudden embrace but once he recovered, he immediately returned the hug. "There there... I'm sorry for not saying anything... I... I didn't say goodbye because I know I'd still see you again."

"Don't... Don't do that again..."

Gilbert smiled. "Yes..."

I won't leave you again.

.::.

"Did you see his face?" Lovino said loudly as they run. "Hah! I should have taken a picture!"

"I thought he was going to shoot me," Antonio grimaced.

"Are you an idiot? He would've already when you first gatecrashed. Though I suppose you still need to be careful next time..." Lovino's voice faltered in the end.

"Well, I don't care really. As long as I can have you," the Spaniard grinned at the Italian who blushed deep scarlet.

"Where are we going anyway?"

The question was immediately answered as their feet brought them to the familiar archway full of spring flowers that had just started to bloom. Soon enough, Antonio's house came into view.

The two paused at the tomato garden entrance. The very place where it all began.

"Hey, Antonio."

"Hmmmn?" Antonio glanced sideways at the Italian.

"Remember when you first taught me Spanish..." Lovino fidgeted.

"What about that?"

"You taught me 'Dame un beso'... I immediately thought that you were a pervert back then..."

"Ehehehe, sorry about that."

"Did you ever thought that maybe, I'll be using those words on you?" the Italian gazed at Antonio in the eyes.

"Eh?"

"Dame un beso."

Lovino's face was flaming. For Antonio, it was the most beautiful face he has ever seen. And it's even more beautiful when he is kissing him.

Fin

I finished it! God I finally finished it! This really is the end of this fic. I guessed I made enough closures for now. The next time I'd write about this verse would be in a sequel fic. Thank you very much to those who were with me in this until the very end. You all know who you are and I love you all very much... I hope to see you all again later... ^^


End file.
